A firmilar face, unrecognized
by gabbyromig
Summary: What happens when Stef gets into an accident and losing her memory? How will her and her family cope? How do you come to terms with a a life you dont remember? How do you cope with your wife/mother not remembering you? Different writing style then other stories, dont like dont leave hateful review. To be honest im nervous about this one
1. Chapter 1

Present Flashback *Me being annoying and interrupting the story to point something out as the author because i can't help myself*

Lena

It's been seven months since our life shattered completely and finally things are getting a bit better. Baby steps everyone tells us but they don't know. They don't know what it's like to wake up one morning and receive a call saying you're wife has been in an accident and is in critical condition. Or what it's like to realize the woman you love, mother of your kids, best friend (i can go on) has no idea who you are all the sudden.

**The horrible night that started it all**

I sat there and looked at her. Tube up her nose, bandages everywhere, a heart monitor letting me know it's still beating.

'A light coma? We believe she will wake up?' i want to believe it so bad but it sounds so scripted like they say that even though it's so unlikely. Sugar coat the truth. Like yeah she can wake up and also one day we will discover the lost city of Atlantis.

How bad was the car crash it had too have been terrible considering she may never wake up again.

"I love you" i said tears in my eyes pressing a kiss to her head.

"Please wake up" i begged. I kissed her head one last time before turning to leave. I turned around and saw the heart monitor and heard the sounds of the beeps, the only proof of any hope that she will wake up again.

Stef

My life changed forever after waking from the coma nine months ago. It's hard for your life not too change when you wake up with no memory and find out you have this life you don't remember. A wife? Five kids? Talk about a lot to take in, in one sitting, and no beer too help either. I didn't even know then that i liked beer than, or that i used too. I supposedly used to have one after work but now i can't understand why. It taste disgusting now.

Anyways back to my crazy life i realize i have. I mean five kids, are we insane? At the point of figuring that out she was also pregnant but thought it was best to not give me a heart attack. Six kids there's something wrong with her, with me. I never thought i could wrap my mind around it, all of it.

**Who am I?**

I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling. What's going on? Where am I? Who am I?

I looked over to see a heart monitor set up next too me. What happened to me? Why can't i remember anything?

A nurse came in and smiled.

"You're awake thats amazing" she said. She doesn't look familiar but if i knew her would i know it?

"Do i know you?" i asked and she smiled.

"No i'm your nurse Gina Daniels. You have been in a coma for two weeks now, ever since you got into a car accident" she said. A car accident?

"Ok" i said not knowing what to say.

"I'm going to call your wife i'm sure she will be thrilled to know you're awake… you're whole family should be?" she said. Wife? Family? She says what now.

"I have a wife and family?" i asked and she sighed.

"How much do you remember?" she asks pulling her seat up and sitting near my hospital bed. A hospital bed i have probably been sleeping in for two weeks now.

"Nothing" i said and she nodded.

"We were hoping this wouldn't happen" she said.

"Who am I?" i asked. I need some answers, maybe it will make me remember somethings.

"You're name is Stephanie Marie Adams Foster…" Stephanie? The name sounds familiar but some how still foreign.

"... You're wifes name is Lena Elizabeth Adams Foster" she offered. Lena? The names sounds familiar but i still can't remember. Like i've watched this Stephanie characters life as a movie or tv series a long time ago and can't remember what happened but now i have seen it. *huh this is ironic, maybe she should just watch it on netflix*

"Is anything coming back to you?" she asks all i did was nod my head no. Why is it that 'my life' seems so fictional.

**Ok i realize this annoyingly short, the chapters will be longer after this i promise. I just want to get a feel for how you guys feel for the different style used and the story in general. I like to mess around with different styles see what works well for different types of stories and such so it is different than my other stories. Anyways review and let me know what you think. Sorry for the authors comment i'll try my best to not have them but that one needed to be said.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the confusion with the last chapter i did not realize that fanfiction does not show underlines. From here i will specify whether it is flashback or present. Most of the story will be the flashback and the present will be just like a narrator's voice. If you are confused about anything review about it and i will explain for you. **

Lena-flashback

I woke up too my phone ringing as much as i want to dismiss it i know i can't. It could be about Stef.

"Hello" i said.

"Hello this is Gina Daniels you're wifes nurse…" she said. I bit my lip to contain the nervous, worried, excited energy.

"Yes please tell me it's good news" i said.

"There's good and bad news… the good news is you're wife is awake…" she said and the words sounded amazing. Stef is awake. I will get too talk too her, hold her, kiss her…. again. My happy high ended quick as i remember her words before. What's the bad news?

"Thats amazing… what's the bad news?" i asked getting worried all over again. What could I be? She's awake that was what we were concerned about, what could have gone wrong.

"Well i hate to inform you but you're wife has suffered severe memory loss…" she said. Memory loss? I wasn't even told that was a possibility. How much does she remember?

"Memory loss?"

"Yes i'm sorry but Stephanie doesn't have any of her memory. I told her who she is and about her family and she says it sounds familiar but she doesn't remember it" she said. She didn't even remember who she is? Poor Stef that has to be terrifying. What do we do now?

"Will she get her memory back?" i asked.

"We aren't sure but we believe that there's a great chance of her remembering again since she says it sounds familiar. There are tons of people who regain their memory after similar insistence that didn't claim it sounded familiar, so we are very hopeful." she said. Oh thank god. So there's a chance everything can still go back too the way it was.

"It will take time but we do believe it will happen" she said.

"Thank you… when can i see her?" i asked.

"You and your family can see her during the morning visiting hours" she said.

"Alright thank you i'll see you in a few hours" i said hanging up. What do i do for three more hours until eight.

I woke up the kids at their normal school wake up time and told them all too meet me downstairs i have something to tell them. They all came downstairs still in pjs a few minutes later.

"What's going on?" Mariana asked.

"You guys aren't going to school today" i said and Jesus gave me a weird look.

"Than why did you wake us up" he asked.

"Is it about mom?" Jude asked and i smiled at him. I love that he's calling us mom and mama now even Callie has started doing it. It breaks my heart to know the first time she called Stef mom, Stef wasn't there.

Flashback

I looked at the phone numb i can't believe what i just heard. My wife was in a car crash and is in critical condition. The kids looked at me concerned. They should be there mom told us she would be home for dinner and it's now almost eight with no word from here, we were all worried. I tried calling her many times and it went straight to voicemail, only making me more worried.

"Is mom ok?" Callie asked and i looked up at her. Mom? Stef better stick around too hear it for herself.

"Uh no she has been in a bad car accident and is in critical condition" i said. After being shot i hoped i would never have too deliver bad news about there mother again and here i am less than a year later doing just that.

Flashback ended * a flashback in a flashback huh this story might get a little confusing*

"Uh yes it is she woke up" i said smiling and they all lit up.

"Oh my god, really?" Mariana asked.

"Yes really" i said and was than in a sixth person in hug. I don't want too tell them the next news. How do you tell your kids there mom can't remember them. I just want to pause time here with the kids excitedly hugging each other, i want that too be all i have too tell them. There magically be no bad news and us go too see her in the hospital than i get too take her home and some how we get back to how it used to be. This reality through and so instead i'm taking my kids too see there mom who at the best will think they look familiar.

"I hate to ruin this but…" i said and they stopped dead in their tracks. Here i am giving them more bad news.

"What is it?" Brandon asked sensing my hesitation.

"Mom has severe memory loss" i started.

"What?" Jude asks tears in his eyes.

"She woke up with no memory" i clarified trying to keep the tears from my own eyes.

"None?" Callie asked looking guarded. When something bad happens she puts those walls back up,i hate it but it's her coping mechanism.

"She didn't even know who she was" i said hating the devastated looks on my childrens faces.

Stef-flashback

The nurse told me that 'my family' is coming to see me. I feel like for a normal person that would make them happy, too see their wife and kids. So why does it sound so nerve wracking. Like here meet the people you lived with who knows how long and will probably be expected to live with again. How is it that 'my wife' and 'my kids' can become strangers just like that? Just by some stupid drunk driver who thought 'oh i'm ok too drive. I won't crash, that won't happen too me' hitting my side of the car, or so the nurse tells me.

A family walked in and i forced a smile. I'm sure this has to be hard on them too. Seeing there wife and mom and knowing she doesn't remember you.

The first to walk in was a woman, i'm going to assume my wife, who had her overly curly hair up in a bun. The next was a teen boy who was obviously the oldest kid. Followed by two more teens a girl and a boy who seem to be staying near each other for security. What's their story and why can't i remember it. Those two don't look like they could be either me or the biracial women's biological children so they were probably adopted. After them was a smaller boy, looked to be 12 at the most, and an older girl whose hands were protectively on his shoulders. They are probably adopted too. They all look familiar but still no memory.

"Hi" i said awkwardly. Nobody seems to know what to do next.

"Hey" the woman said smiling at me.

"Lena?" i asked after thinking back on what the nurse told me last night. I think it was Lena.

"Uh yeah thats me…" she said and then turned around too the taller boy and patted his arm.

"This is Brandon our oldest son, you're biological child from a previous marriage." she said awkwardly. Brandon just gave me an awkward smile, yeah i'm sure being introduced too you're mom has to be strange. Previous marriage? So i used to be straight. It's funny how the last thing that crossed my mind is that supposedly i'm gay, you know it's been an eventful night if thats the least weird thing to grasp.

She turned around and patted the other boy on the shoulder,"This is Jesus we foster adopted him and his sister,Mariana…" She said putting her hand on the girls shoulder.

"...when they were five" she said.

"This is our youngest,Jude" she said smiling at him. You can definitely see how much she loves her kids.

"... and his sister Callie who we fostered about sixth months ago and Jude is now adopted and Callie is in the process of being adopted" It's obvious that there's a lot of drama about Callie being adopted. It's obvious there's a lot of drama i don't remember about any of these people.

I have no idea what to say too this. What am i suppose to say? In a normal situation i would say it's nice too meet you but thats not a normal thing to say too you're wife and kids. So i got a bit of an explanation on everyone but Lena.

"So you really don't remember anything?" Jude asked.

"I'm sorry but i don't. You all seem nice" i said. Nice? I'm going with nice.

"ok kids why don't you go to the cafeteria and get your mom some breakfast" she said. So my kids now what i like enough to get me some food but i don't. Lena handed them a ten dollar bill.

"Oh you don't have to pay for me" i said she smiled at me.

"Don't worry about it." she said and the kids left. I think she did that so we can talk alone.

"I know this has too weird for you" she said.

"A little bit… has to be weird for you too" i offered and she smiled.

"Um I brought you some stuff that will hopefully jog your memory" she said putting a bag on the hospital bed. She got out some pictures, a necklace, and a police badge.

"There's more i just thought i won't overwhelm you" she said.

I picked up the necklace i remember this, wearing it, but not why.

"Recognize it?" she asked.

"Uh a bit yeah" i said and the cutest smile came across her face.

"Really?"  
"Yeah wearing it. How did i get it?" i asked.

"It was our first anniversary and i gave it to you. You loved it you told me you wouldn't take it off. I didn't realize that you meant like ever. You wear it every day, it's been fixed a few times" she said the last part sadly.

"Why?"

"You got shot less than a year ago when you thought Jesus was in trouble and the surgeons broke it off of you. Than of course the car accident cut it off of your neck" she said sadly. I can tell how much she loves me and i don't even know her.

"And you keep fixing it?" she asks.

"yeah of course you love it… you don't have to wear it if it makes you uncomfortable" she said and i just shook my head.

"No i want too" i said and the beautiful smile returned. She put it on for me and it did feel right wearing it. I picked up the pictures hope for something too come back. There was a bunch of pictures of us all together. Pictures of just me and Lena, and i have to say we seem pretty relaxed with each other. All the pictures showed such a happy family but why does it seem like someone elses happy family, someone elses life.

**Sorry the pace of this story is a little slow right now it should get more dramatic as it continues just trying to get into the feelings and emotions now. Also love all the reviews thank you, and mistakes will be updated either tonight or tomorrow.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lena

I watched as she looked though the pictures, I can tell she doesn't remember them and i'm trying to keep my emotions in check.

"Can you tell me about us?" she said quietly not looking up from the pictures.

"Of course we met eleven years ago when you were looking into the school i'm working at for Brandon. I gave you a tour and we ended up hitting it off immediately. Brandon went to the school and we kept hanging out until it was obvious we both like each other. You were in an unhappy marriage with Brandons father, Mike, and i just broke up with my ex girlfriend. It took us a while because you had to come to terms with your sexuality and break up permanently with Mike but eventually we got together. We got a house together, got the twins, than many years later Callie and Jude" i summarized. Leaving out that i'm pregnant, i don't know when it's a good time too tell her that.

"Wow" was all she could say.

"Listen we know this is a lot to take in and we know you will need time, it's ok" i said trying to get her to relax a bit.

"What about you guys?" she asked. It's sweet that she's worried about us even though i know we are strangers to her.

"We will manage and don't worry we will be around hopefully too keep working towards you remembering." i said and she looked down.

"I was told i am getting out of here tomorrow" she said, the nurse did tell me she can go tomorrow. I'm still nervous about her leaving the hospital, she has no memory isn't something still wrong with her.

"Yeah i don't know if thats a good idea" i said.

"Why not the nurse told me i could" she argued. Just like the Stef i knew she hates the hospital.

"I'll talk to the doctor make sure everything is good enough for you too leave" i said and she nodded.

"I'm gonna get a hotel room…" she said barely above a whisper. I don't know what i thought would happen. Did i really think she would move back in, we are just a bunch of strangers to her. I forced a smile trying to keep the tears at bay but i can feel myself losing.

"Ok i'll make sure i bring down your wallet for you" i said and the kids walked in.

"We got you some eggs, bacon, a bagel, and coffee" Mariana said passing Stef the tray. She smiled at her.

"Thanks" she said awkwardly. "Good to know what i like"

"Come on kids we should be heading home" i said and they looked at me shocked.

"Mom we haven't even gotten too talk too her" Brandon argued.

"Ok i'll be back i have too go too the bathroom" i said and got out of there as fast as i could. I got into the bathroom and broke down. What if she never remembers? What if she becomes a completely different person.

Mariana

I can't believe my own mom doesn't remember me. Doesn't remember any of us. She became a stranger again just like that.

"Is your mom going to be ok, i didn't mean to upset her" she said. What did she say too mama? She was really upset when she ran out of here.

"Ah yeah that happens with the pregnancy" I dismissed it but i'm sure it's way more than a bunch of pregnancy hormones.

"Pregnancy?" she asked confused. Crap guess mom choose to save that piece of information for another time.

"Uh yeah she didn't tell you?" Jesus asked.

"No she's pregnant?" she asked.

"Yeah in her third month… sperm donor" i said and answered her silent question of how.

"I'm going to make sure she's ok" Callie said leaving.

"So what's it like to wake up with no memory?" Jesus asked and i slapped him.

"Really?" i said glaring at him. She just laughed. I don't know what to call her. Stef seems weird to call her, but mom doesn't seem right either right now.

"It's ok, it was weird" she said and he nodded.

"I'm sorry this has to be hard on you guys" she said.

"I saw a movie exactly like this once, the acting sucked" Jesus announced. I remember that movie i kept thinking it has to suck too have someone you love not know who you are anymore, i never thought i could be living it.

"So what types of movies do you like?" she asked. We can't say she's not trying.

Callie

I walked in to the nearest bathroom to see her trying to cover up the fact that she was crying. There was a woman just walking out of the stall who had no idea what to do. She went over washed her hands quickly and than left.

"You ok?" i asked going over to her.

"Yeah sorry" she said and i smiled.

"You have a little…" i said and then just gave up and whipped the mascara off of her cheek.

"What happened?" i asked smiling at her.

"She's getting a hotel room for the time being, it's temporary until she remembers us" she said trying to sound confident. I know she's scared that mom might never remember us. She has been struggling to be a single mom of five kids and i know the idea of being a permanent single mom of six kids is really haunting her. Stefs mom was out for a bit too help and so was her friend Kelly but obviously that can't be a permanent fix.

"Well we will need to go out someplace nice after she remember it all" i said with fake confidence to cheer her up.

"Yeah we will" she said. "There's a great restaurant we haven't been too in a while that has the best ribs" I laughed.

"Thats sound good"

Stef

All i can think of is what Mariana accidently told me, Lenas pregnant. First of all this family is insane. Not only do i have five kids but i have one on the way too, are you kidding me. I feel really bad for Lena, all of this happening while she's pregnant. I half listened to what the kids were saying, only picking up on things that are important about them so i can try and remember them. I need too talk too Lena about this, as weird as it is she's carrying our baby.  
Lena and Callie came back in, it's obvious Lenas been crying. I feel bad. I don't mean to make this worse on her i just don't know what to do.

"Hey why don't we give them some time alone?" Callie said to her siblings.

"We just did" Jesus said and Mariana grabbed him and pulled him out of the room.

"They seem like great kids" i said and she smiled.

"Yeah they are"

"Mariana told me that you're pregnant" i said. There's like a consistent awkwardness hanging over everyone.

"Yeah Callie warned me this conversation was coming" she said.

"What do we do?" i asked and she shook her head.

"I don't know… take it one day at a time i guess" she offered.

"We will keep trying to get you too remember" she said.

"What if i don't" What if i never regain the memory i had?

"Well than we figure it out from there" she said confidently but i can tell she's worried. Why wouldn't she be? Her wife doesn't remember her, she's like a single mother of five kids and she's currently expecting another one.

"By the way i hate to throw something else at you but just so you're not blindsighted you're mom is coming in tomorrow. She won't be in in time for visiting hours but she will come too see you the day after tomorrow." she said. My mom? Great more family.

**Just a quick chapter. I'm going on vacation until tuesday where i don't have wifi. I will be hand writing it, because i'm addicted and would die of boredom if i didn't, and so when i come back i should have a few chapters of both this one and Mistakes pretty quickly. By the way Mistakes i believe only has a few chapters left.**


	4. Chapter 4

Lena-present

Sharon was actually the one that got Stef too start remembering things.

Lena-flashback

Sharon got in around two and everyone was excited too see her. She finally got me alone an hour later.

"So she has no memory?" she asks once we are alone.

"Unfortunately" i said. "They are hopeful it will come back"

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine" i lied.

"Honey you can be honest with me. You're wife doesn't remember you, you are playing single mom all while pregnant. You can't possible be fine" she responded and i sighed.

"I'm just worried is all" I admitted. "What if she doesn't get her memory back.

"Oh hun, I know my daughter she will too get back. Hell i wouldn't be surprised if she has her memory back before this little guy is born" she said putting her hand on my stomach.

"I hope you are right"

"Oh darling mother's always right" she said smiling at me.

Sharon

I hope i am right. I can't imagine what Lena is going through. The possibility that her wife might not be with her too bring there child into the world, has too weighing down on her. Either way, especially if it's the worst i'm worst outcome, i'll be staying here for a while too help her with the kids and my newborn granddaughter. I'm going too make sure I can be here for her in my daughters absence.

We went down too the hospital the next morning and i have no idea what too expect. We went into the room and she smiles at me. She looks so much better than the last time i saw her. She was still so beaten up when i saw her last.

"Hey" she said awkwardly.

"Hey"

"This is you're mom, Sharon" Lena said awkwardly. Nothing like having too be introduced too someone you raised since birth.

"I'm so glad you are awake" i said. What do I say in this situation.

"Me too" she said.

"Come on kids lets give them some time alone" Lena said. I feel like these kids have had very little interaction with there mom since she woke up, but it's only been two days.

"Oh no it's ok" i said not wanting too make anyone feel like they are being kicked out of the room.

"We will give you two a few minutes too talk. The doctor thinks the one on one interaction will help her remember" she said and i nodded.

"Alright" i said and they left.

"I heard you are leaving today"

"Lena said she was making sure the doctor thinks it's ok" she said sighing.

"Oh the doctors approved of it already. They just don't want you living alone" i said. I know she's planning on getting a hotel but the doctors don't think it's a good idea. She can still have moments of confusion and they don't want her alone if that happens.

"Oh well i was planning on getting a hotel" she responded a little disappointed. I know it has too be weird too move in with strangers. Especially since Jesus has the couch and i'm sleeping in his bed, so there's no place too sleep but her normal bed. Sleeping in the same bed as a stranger, talk about awkward.

"The doctors says you can still experience moments of confusion so he doesn't want you alone"

"Um well…"

"It has to be weird for you… listen we can get a hotel together. That way you don't have to sleep in the same bed as Lena" i offered.

"Sounds like the best choice i've got" she said.

"Ok well do that. It could be like when you were a kid. We used to go out too see you're cousins and it would be just you and me. We would get a hotel and watch movies until late and order all this junk food from room service. You would end up with a sugar rush and would run around and jump on the bed, all the stuff i wouldn't allow you to do at home" i said laughing a little at the memory. She was a crazy kid, especially on sugar.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah my favorite memories of your childhood were those nights. You're father could always ruin the fun" When Stef was young Frank was always so hard on her. He had his beliefs of how things should be and it seemed Stef could never live up to his expectations. I always had to be the understanding parent.

"My dad?"

"Yeah he passed away a few months ago, heart attack. He was always the strict parent" I explained

"Oh i'm sorry" she said.

"It's ok we were divorced for many years by than"

"So he was the strict one?" she asked.

"Yeah he and you had a bit of a feud because he couldn't accept your sexuality fully"

"Wait… didn't he…?" Is she remembering something?

"Yes go on" i encouraged.

"Some like church…" The first thing she remembers is Frank scaring the gay out of her for fifteen some years.

"Yeah you're dad took you too see a youth minister when you were sixteen after he caught you cuddling on the couch" i said. Me and Frank fought for like forever over that, it was one of the fights that lead to our divorce. I was just so mad he did that too Stef.

"Tess?"

"Tess Brown you're highschool best friend" she shook her head, no. Guess she doesn't remember that, not surprising. It's going to be a slow process. Well we still made great progress today.

"All i can remember is the church" she offered lamely.

"Thats good maybe you will remember more" i said hopefully. I'm so glad she's remembering things. She better be herself by the time her baby is born.

**Ok i know this is a really short chapter just thought i would get a quick chapter up today. Please review i'm in desperate need of nice reviews from you guys. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	5. Chapter 5

Stef

She sat in the passenger side of the car and turned the radio up.

"I love this song" she said starting to sing the wrong lyrics. She's had a little too much too drink.

"I think you're drunk" i commented and she shook her head.

"No… not drunk" she said.

"Yes drunk" i responded and she shook her head. She burst into giggles.

"Dizzy" she said still giggling and holding onto the chair.

"Yes you're drunk" i said and she laughed.

"Yep drunk" she said starting to kiss my neck.

"Honey I'm driving" I reminded her laughing.

"No fun, officer" she said running her hand up my leg. I pulled over, she's going to get us in an accident.

I woke up and took in my surroundings. I'm in the hotel that me and my mom rented out. She was asleep in the bed on the other side of the room.

I'm starting to remember things!

That scene felt so natural, like we are both comfortable being ourselves with each other. When I figured out I had a wife I expected it to be more like friendship. Like two friends raising kids together. I never thought we would actually be this cute couple.

Me and my mom went back to their house in the morning. I've supposedly lived here for ten years but it looks like a house I'm seeing during an open house. Minus the fact that it looks lived in, hard to not looked lived in with six people in it. Seven I guess, eight soon. Man the numbers keep going up.d

Kids? How can i ever be a good mom? Good wife? I don't even remember these people.

"Hey you're here" Lena said she was still in pjs and looked relaxed.

"Sorry didn't expect you yet, I'll go get dressed and get the kids. Help yourself to some coffee" she said pointing to the coffee machine. She went upstairs and mom turned around to me.

"What's wrong, darling?" She asked making some coffee.

"Nothing I'm fine" I replied going and looking at the pictures. There's a pictures of me holding a baby Brandon, I would assume. All the pictures show a happy family. A happy family now turn apart because of a car accident.

Could I ever be the mother I used to be?  
"You have such an amazing family" my mom told me.

"Looks like it" i responded. 'You had such an amazing family' i corrected her in my head but didn't dare say it outloud.

"You and Lena are such great moms" she said.  
"I'm sure she is" i said. She would have to be. She's a signal mom of five, going on sixth kids, and all kids are healthy, fed, and mentally stable. She's doing pretty good job if you ask me.

"You are too" she said.

"Where" i corrected before i could stop myself.

"Are… You still are an amazing mom, always" she said.

"How good of a mom can i be? I don't remember my own kids." i said.

"You will, give it time" she said and Lena and the kids came down.

"I'm going to start breakfast, eggs and bacon, sound good" she asked getting some pans out.

"Sounds great too me" i said. I have a new found love for eggs and bacon.

"Pancakes?" Jesus asked giving his mom a pleading look.

"Fine" Lena said sighing.

"I'll make the pancakes" mom announced. I sat down and started talking too Mariana.

"You guys have too go to school today?" I asked.

"Unfortunately" she said.

Lena

Sharon started to make pancakes as I put the bacon on.

"She's remembering" she whispered over to me. She told me yesterday she remembered her dad taking her to see a youth minister after catching her and Tess together. Well she remembered the church in relation to her dad never accepting that she's a lesbian. Not exactly what i wanted her too remember first but still no memory.

"What did she remember?" i asked glad that she's remembering. I don't know what i would do if she didn't.

"She had a dream of you and her on a road trip or something. She said you were pretty drunk and then she got all awkward so i'm going to assume some stuff happened after that" she said winking at me. Doesn't have any memory and she gets horney? I laughed at the idea.

"Well thats good for her…. that she's remembering i mean" i said and she laughed.

"Oh i'm sure it was good for her" she said and i giggled. Oh Sharon she's definitely an interesting mother-in-law.

The kids went to school and Sharon decided to go out shopping for a bit too get stuff for her future granddaughter. She's probably also just trying to give us time alone. I took a few days off when Stef woke up.

"So i heard you're remembering… the road trip we took on our third anniversary" i said and smiled awkwardly.

"Uh yeah… i did" she said blushing so much i had to laugh. "I woke up before it got too… you know… anything R rated"

I burst into laughter. R rated?

"Aww well that sucks" i said pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

"Want some?" I asked.

"I haven't had orange juice yet" she said and i poured her a glass.

"You like it" i told her handing it to her.

"So you're having a girl?" she asked. Sharon announced that she's getting stuff for her future baby granddaughter.

"Oh yeah i figured that out at my appointment yesterday" i said awkwardly. I was debating inviting her but she was getting settled into her hotel and i didn't want to pressure her, but now i'm feeling like i should have gave her the option. Maybe it would help jog her memory.

"Oh you had an appointment yesterday" she said awkwardly. I should have invited her i feel bad.

"Yeah sorry i should have invited you it was just you were settling into the hotel and all that and well…" i trailed off.

"It's ok… would it be ok if i go too you're next one?" she asked awkwardly. I'm glad she wants to go it shows she cares about the life she left behind that she can't remember.

"Of course i have another one in a few weeks i'll let you know when it gets closer" i said smiling at her.

"Good so everything is good right? Everyones healthy?" she asked concerned. I love how she gets concerned about us even though she really doesn't know us.

"Yeah everyone is healthy… oh i have a sonogram if you want too look at it" i said getting it out of my purse. I handed it to her and she smiled looking at it.

"Wow…" she said smiling at me. "Thats amazing"

"Um Mariana told me that it was a sperm donor?" she asked nervously. Like she doesn't know if she can ask me questions. Like she might offend me or something.

"Yes it was a friend of mine that i work with, Timothy, offered to help us out" i said.

"Oh ok"

"You can ask me questions it's ok" she nodded.

"Uh why did we? I mean no offense but this family is a little... insanely packed" she said and i laughed.

"We get that a lot but we like it that way" i explained. "So since we have the entire day together i thought maybe we can go around and visit a bunch of places that are important to you"

"Oh alright sounds great" she said.

Stef

We went to the local park first and walked around for a bit.

"I couldn't count how many days we have spent with the kids here. They would play and we would just sit watching talking about everything, it was so nice" she said seeming to be at peace just from being here.

"Sounds like it"

"Yeah and we would always have like three almost passed out kids to get to the car. The one time you had Jesus on your back and Mariana on your hip and I was carrying Brandon" she said and I laughed.

"Ah sounds like my back probably hurt so bad the next day" she commented.

"It did... I made it up to you though" she said and I laughed awkwardly.

"I'm sure you did"

"I meant a massage but hey that happened to" she said and I got bright red. She laughed.

"You always blush when we talk about that... it's cute" she said walking back to the car.

"What do you mean, always?"

"Even when it would be just you and me and be years of us together if I were to bring it up you would still blush a bit" she said.

"Really?" i asked.

"Yeah it's cute" she said smiling at me.

"I wouldn't say cute" i said and she laughed.

"No it's cute… a lot of the stuff you do with realizing is adorable. Well minus you're tendency to put your foot in your mouth" she teased.

"Wow that probably doesn't taste good" i commented and she laughed. She seems too actually find my bad jokes funny. Wow she really loves me.

"What?" she said apparently i have to learn too have a poker face.

"Nothing" i said dismissing it.

"No tell me" she insisted.

"It's just we were together what ten years?" i asked and she nodded.

"Almost eleven" she responded.

"You just act like we got together a few months ago like honeymoon phase still" i said and she laughed.

"Well we did just get married officially only a few months ago… but yeah we were still so in love you know" she said and i looked down awkwardly. The word 'were' was so forced. I know she still loves me, i can see it but she having too face the reality that i don't love her back.

"I'm sorry i can't imagine how hard this is for you" i said. She definitely has it harder than me thats for sure. Sure i woke up too having no memory and having too come to terms with a family i don't remember but thats nothing compared to what's she's dealing with. She has the memories therefore she has the emotion attached to it, and she has to deal with the fact that the person she loves doesn't have the memories and therefore doesn't have the feelings.

She turned towards me and forced a smile.

"You don't have too say it back but i have too say it. You need to know that i love you and nothing could change that. Nothing" she said tears in her eyes.

"God the last time i told you that you were asleep and i thought you weren't ever going to wake up" she said whipping the tears away. I don't know what to do. What would i have done if i never lost my memory? Hugged her, kiss her, hold her as she cries? I don't know what i should be doing now so i just ended up awkwardly putting my hand on her back.

"You ok?" i asked and she smiled at me.

"Yeah sorry" she said shaking her head.

"It's ok… you don't have to apologize." i said.

"Am i like her?" i asked as the thought crossed my mind. Does she love the thought of me eventually being the woman she loved again or does she love me because somehow despite everything i'm still like her.

"Who?"

"The woman you loved, you know the one who had all the memories" i stated and she smiled.

"You know what you're still just like her" she said.

"How?" i asked confused. How can i be like her? Memories define people without them who am i really?

"You still care about us and we are just a family that walked into a hospital and introduced ourselves as you're family. Thats just how the woman i loved was she cared about people, and thats just how you are" she said confidently. I hope she's right because for the first time i really want to be the Steph foster she loves and remembers.

**Sorry that this chapter took so long. Hope you liked it and hope you review. Promise i will try too be updating quicker again**


	6. Chapter 6

Lena

I laid there and tried to suppress the tears but it was no use. I'm crying hysterically by now, i looked over at her empty side of the bed. I miss her so much. I put my hand on my stomach. I know it sounds weird but i know she misses her too. When Stef was around i just know she felt better as stupid as it may sound.

I got out of bed. I want to feel like she's here. I took my shirt off and grabbed one of Stefs baggy pj shirts putting it on. I felt a little relaxed, again.

I put my hand over my stomach and drifted to sleep.

Stef

Tomorrow is Lenas appointment and i'm kind of looking forward to it. Despite everything this baby is ours and i want to be there too actually see the ultrasound. Maybe it will help me remember something or even make me feel more connected to this baby and family in general. I have five kids and a little one on the way and i need something to help get me to be a mom. They might be strangers but i can't abandon this family, these kids. I have heard their stories and i know they have been abandoned too many times, i can't be added to that list. I won't let it happen, even if i have to start over completely without memory.

Mike my supposed ex-husband came down too visit this is the first time, i've seen him in person. I have seen pictures and all but this is the first he has gotten around to come out since i have woken at least. I think he has come down to see the family since then but i haven't been there when he came by yet.

"Hey" he said and i smiled at him.

"Hey"

"Um I'm Mike" he said awkwardly holding his hand out for me too shake.

"Um i know" i said shaking it.

"You do?"

"Yes i've seen pictures" i responded and he nodded.

"Right sorry"

The next day i got to her house about a half an hour before her appointment and she greeted me at the door.

"Hey thanks for coming" she said.

"Yeah of course. You ready?" i asked a little nervous.

"Are you?" she asked giving me a warming smile.

"Not really too be honest" i said and she laughed.

"Wow you're not even the one getting a shot" she commented grabbing her purse and than we headed out.

"Relax… it will be fine" she said getting into the drivers side. She laughed a little bit, sadly and i glanced over at her.

"What?" i asked.

"Nothing it's just you and me in a car and i'm behind the steering wheel, doesn't happen a lot" she responded.

"Why?"

"You normally drive, it's kind of you're thing" she explained.

"Oh am i a good driver?" i asked.

"You think you are" she teased.

"I'm kidding" she said and i laughed. "You're a great driver"

The conversation died down for a bit but i got her talking for the rest of the ride not too long later. I had her talking about the kids and she went on and on about how them growing up. I can tell how much she loves them, it's amazing. I will probably never be as good of a mom as she is.

Stef-present

The waiting room was one of the first things that made things even more complicated. Stumbling on a forgotten memory i think even the old Stef wanted kept hidden away. A memory she's kept from other people and here i am screwing things up for her.

Flashback

We got there and we sat in the waiting room and for some reason it seemed too familiar. Like i've been here before. A hospital waiting room? Yeah i have probably been there in the course of my forgotten life. For some reason though it feels like something bad happened here. Like something maybe i shouldn't remember but now the curiosity is killing me.

"You alright?" Lenas voice said pulling me back from my thoughts.

"What?" i asked absent minded.

"Are you ok?" she asked again slower this time.

"Uh yeah fine" i said.

"Do you need me too hold your hand through it?" she asked and i laughed.

"I might take you up on that offer" i joked.

The nurse called us back and we followed her too a little exam room. She did some quick check up stuff, check her blood pressure, temperature all that. The nurse went too give her her shot and i can tell she's a little nervous but then again who doesn't get nervous when somebody sticks a needle in them.

"You ok?" she asked me.

"I'm fine…" i said and then realized what she's doing. I think she wants me to hold her hand.

I got up and took her hand squeezing it. After the shot we waited for a bit for the ultrasound too be ready.

"You ready for this?" she asked and i laughed.

"Yeah i'm good" i said. The nurse wheeled in the ultrasound and the deja vu feeling came back. I remember lying where Lena is, ready to see my unborn baby.

'I had Brandon biologically, remember?' i reminded myself but for some reason it didn't seem right.

"Stefanie?" she asked regaining my attention.

"You here?" she asked.

"Oh yeah why?" i asked confused.

"You keep spacing out it's concerning." she said and i smiled at her.

"Sorry lost in thought, i'm here" i said.

"Alright well than lets see your baby" the nurse said. I can remember hearing those words before. Brandon! For some reason that doesn't seem right. Was i ever pregnant other than Brandon?

I can remember thinking about Lena. Thats definitely not right, they told me i didn't meet Lena until Brandon was five. Besides i feel like this baby was a girl. So what's going on? What happened to the baby?

Lena

She was spaced out throughout the entire appointment, i was hoping that it was because of her remembering things. Like how we got pregnant or her pregnancy with Brandon (I've never heard those stories i think it would be interesting to hear) but she didn't say anything about remembering anything.

Stef

I got back to the apartment and called Mike from the contacts of my cell. I have spent hours looking over names trying to think of who they belong too, how i knew them. Pictures to see if i remember them but it's like going through someone elses phone.

"Hey everything ok?" he immediately asked. Guess i don't call him a lot, which would be expected he's kind of my ex, i shouldn't be. Or maybe it's because i've only just 'met' him and i'm calling him the next day.

"Not really i need to ask you something" i said.

"Alright" he said.

"Did i ever get pregnant other than Brandon?" i asked and i can imagine he's giving me a weird look.

"Oh um yeah you miscarried once when Brandon was two but it happened so early in the pregnancy that you didn't need surgery afterwards. Why are you asking?" he asked.

"Did i get pregnant like right before meet Lena?" i asked.

"What… no. Not that i'm aware of. Why are you asking me these questions?" he asked confused.

"Ok um… i kind of remembered going to have a sonogram when i went too Lenas appointment…"

"Yeah you probably are remembering when you were pregnant with Brandon" he offered and i sighed.

"I know it's just i remember thinking about what Lena would think and that doesn't make any sense…" i started.

"You didn't meet Lena until Brandon went to kindergarten" he pointed out.

"Exactly" i argued.

"Listen Stef as far as i'm concerned you weren't pregnant when you met Lena and i would hope you would tell me if you were. I have to go" he said hanging up.

**Personal opinion is this wasn't too good of a chapter and i feel like this story needs something more. Maybe the pace is too slow or it needs more drama so let me know what you think readers cause i need to figure this out. I need something, help me out here. Please review, and sorry it was a little short and wasn't too good.**


	7. Chapter 7

Stef

My mom got back too the hotel and sat down on the bed with like five shopping bags.

"What do you think?" she asked holding up a baby dress.

"I think it's a little small for you" i joked and she laughed.

"It's not for me, genius. It's for my granddaughter" she said getting out more baby girl clothes.

"Speaking of my granddaughter did you get too see her today" she asked holding up another little outfit.

"I did and i think she will be set for clothes" i said and she laughed.

"Never i haven't gotten too shop for baby clothes since before Brandon was born" she said and an idea hit me. She might know about this baby, wouldn't she. Would i tell my mom if i got pregnant even if something happened and the baby wasn't born? I mean it's not like i was sixteen or anything.

"Why do i feel like you did all the shopping for Brandon" i asked trying too get a conversation about it going.

"Oh i did, i was so thrilled when i heard i was going too have a grandchild." she said. I can see that she's extremely happy about her granddaughter i can imagine she would be thrilled about her first born grandchild. Hell i can only imagine how bad she was when she had me.

"I can only imagine… shame you only got too do it once… baby clothes i mean" i said hoping i didn't make it sound like Mariana, Jesus, Callie and Jude were any less of her grandkids.

"Well i'm doing it again now… say what you mean darling" she said and i laughed. She knows me too well i'm busted.

"When i was at Lenas appointment i started too remember something that doesn't make any sense" i said and she gave me a weird look.

"Go on"  
"I remember going too get an ultrasound but i remember thinking about Lena… that doesn't make any sense" i said and she gave me a confused look.

"You're probably mixing too memories together or something" she said and i didn't even think of that.

"What if i'm not through" i said despite the logical point she brought up i can't help but feel like I stumbled across something suppose too remain hidden. I can't help but be curious, I mean if i'm right we are talking about a baby here.

"Stef what do you think happened? You had an affair, got pregnant and had an abortion" she said. Thats not what i was thinking at all. Am I really someone who would have an affair?

"What no" i said.

"I didn't hear anything about another pregnancy after Brandon was two and you miscarried. Trust me the Stef i knew wouldn't have an affair and i'm not saying that just because i'm her mother" she said.

"Should i talk too Lena about this?" i said and she shook her head.

"No i wouldn't. She's going though so much right now the last thing she needs is too think there's a possibility you cheated on her. You're mixing memories up, I raised you too be a caring loving person. So i would hope you treated you're wife right" she said sounding mad at even the possibility of it.

"I'm just trying too figure out what happened too her" i said and she looked over at me.

"You got far enough into the pregnancy too know the gender?"

"What? I don't remember, i just feel like it's a girl" i said and sighed.

"Sorry i just don't want anything else happening too that family" she said. She has a point maybe it's best too not think about it for a while and if i was right i will probably remember more anyways.

Jesus

Mike was over for a bit and he picked up the basketball and threw at me.

"Mike really? No throwing balls in the house" Mama yelled at him and i laughed.

"Sorry… what do you say we go play for a few minutes?" he said too me.

"Alright" i said and followed him outside.

"We played for a few minutes and mom and grandma pulled in.

"He wanna play" Mike said throwing the ball at mom.

"Can i play?" she asked.

"You used too be good" Mike said.

"Alright i hope i beat you're guess butts" she said dribbling the ball. She aimed for the basket and got it in. How?

"Hey i did it" she said.

"Alright Jesus we aren't going easy on her" he said running down so i can steal the ball from her and pass it too him and he can get it in. Mama kept score and we won.

"Hey it's not fair they teamed up against me" mom said her old competitive nature coming out.

"It's ok to lose one babe" mama said kissing her cheek. I think she forgot for a moment that mom doesn't remember her. She got a real quick reminder when mom tensed up awkwardly.

"Sorry forgot for a second" mama said sadly. It wouldn't be hard for her to forget i mean it seemed so natural again. Just like it used to be.

"Oh it's ok… I want another try. One on one" she said turning to me. Yeah well her competitive nature has come back real quickly.

"Are you sure you want to be beaten twice" i said cocky. She's still good, especially since she doesn't remember anything, but she doesn't have her memories to figure out anything with extra skill.

"Are you sure you want to be beaten by your mom" she said and i paused. You're mom? Thats the first time she's truly analogized the fact that she's our mom. I look over too mama and sure enough she's tearing up.

"Yeah you would have to beat me first"

"You would have to play first" Mike joked impatiently.

Lena

I watched as Stef and Jesus played basketball trying to keep the tears at bay. She called herself Jesus mom. It was so natural to see them playing like this just like before the accident. Of course her competitive nature comes back first, why wouldn't it.

Mike sat next too me.

"Who you betting on?" he asked and i laughed. So far it's a pretty even game. Jesus has sixth and Stef is following not far behind with five but she has the ball now.

"I have no idea"

"She's doing pretty good considering" he said and i smiled at him.

"Yeah well she can't live with losing if she doesn't win soon she may never leave" i said and he laughed.

"Oh definitely. My brother is really good at basketball the played once and Stef lost, than they played for like another two hours before she won" he said and i laughed.

"Really?"

"Yeah longest two hours of my life they are both so competitive. Than once Stef won he wanted to play again and beat her so i just left." he said.

"I'm not surprised at all"

"Neither was i, it's always easier to let her win" he said the last part because i think he wants to play her one on one too. I'm sure he hasn't let her win, he doesn't seem like the guy to do that and Stef would be very offended if he did. As much as she hates losing she hates the thought of winning because someone let her even more.

"Oh please you never let me win" she screamed while blocking Jesus her focus still completely on the game.

"How would you know you have no memory" he reminded her.

"Have you ever let her win?" i asked.

"There were times i was ready to be done so i didn't play my hardest" he admitted.

"Don't tell her that you will never get out of here alive" i warned him.

We watched them play for a bit before Mike looked over to me.

"Hey can i ask you a question" he asked as if maybe he shouldn't ask me what he wants too.

"Sure"

He hesitated as if he knew he shouldn't but asked anyways, "Do you know anything about her being pregnant around the time that she met you or after she met you?"

"What?" i said completely shocked by the question. Why is he asking me this?

"Stef called me the other day asking if she got pregnant anytime after meeting you. She claimed she got a memory of going to get an ultrasound but can remember thinking about you" he said and i sat there stunned. What is he suggesting? Could that have actually happened? So what she had an affair or something?

"Oh my god" i said tears coming too my eyes.

"Lena" he said.

"I'll be back i have too go too the bathroom" i said getting up and leaving. I can't deal with this, now it's possible she's cheated on me.

**For the reviewer saying she will stop reading if Stef cheats i don't believe in writing that. It's completely out of character for Stef and i would never ruin their relationship like that. I believe half of the skill behind writing fanfiction is staying true to characters that aren't yours, so characterization is a huge part of writing for me.**

**Also please review, makes my day. Any ideas for this story will be appreciated and i will probably be able to write it in.**


	8. Chapter 8

Stef

I watched as Lena got up and went to the bathroom obviously upset. Clearly something happened. Crap Mike told her about the baby. I need too talk too her.

"Hey give me a second" i said to Jesus.

"Sure" he said. I went after her.

"Lena" i said knocking on the door. I can hear her crying.

"I'll be out in a second" she said.

"Can we talk?" i asked. She came out of the bathroom.

"About?"

"Did Mike just tell you about the memory i had?" i asked and she nodded.

"Yeah why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"I was going too but my mom talked me out of it saying you have been through enough" i said and she shook her head.

"So who all knows before me?" she said sounding mad.

"Just her and Mike" i defended myself.

"So you thought it was a good idea too talk too you're ex husband before you're wife?" she asked. Yeah that probably wasn't a good idea.

"No it was… listen i just thought that he would know about it because i assumed he was the father of the kid" i explained and she looked even more shocked.

"What… wait you think you had an affair with your ex husband?" she said only confusing me more.

"What no… i didn't even think of it being an affair. You guys are the ones making it an affair." i defended myself.

"You get pregnant while with me, honestly how is that not an affair" she yelled. "I guarantee you didn't get pregnant by me"

"I don't know what happened, Lena. I don't know what happened anymore than you do. I don't even know you people" i shouted and then regretted it. I shouldn't have said that last part. I can see the hurt in her eyes.

"Right, sorry" she said.

"Listen i'm sorry i know you are going through hell right now. All i'm trying to do is figure this out. I don't know who i am, or what i have done. I'm sorry if one of those things was have an affair, I don't want to be that person. I'm just trying to figure out who i was" i said tears in my own eyes.

She nodded, "Tell me if you remember anything else"

Sharon

I came to their house and I could tell something happened. Everything is so awkward. I hope the whole baby fiasco hasn't gotten too Lena. I met Lenas eyes and i can tell it did. That poor girl i just wish this doesn't end badly. Stef is never going too hear the end of it from me if she actually had an affair. I might not have raised her thinking she would end up gay but i raised her to be a caring loving respectful person. Besides when she came out too me i told her she better treat a girl right or she will never hear the end of better have some different explanation and a good one if this baby actually happened.

Stef

I sat there looking through pictures and one caught my eye. I was me, Mariana (like 7 or 8 years old) and Lena. We were at a town pool or something and Mariana was soaking wet and me and Lena were hugging her.

'Mariana was thrown in' i thought. There's no way i would have known that from the picture so i have to be remembering it.

'I threw her in' i remembered. Than the memory hit me. Brandon and Jesus were already in the pool swimming and were splashing Mariana who didn't want to go in.

"It's cold" she complained.

"You're just scared" Brandon teased her.

"Brandon be nice" i reminded him.

"I'm not scared" she said. She's been in the pool hundreds of times i don't know why she doesn't want too today.

"Mariana if you don't want to go in you don't have too" Lena said. Mariana went and laid down in the chair eventually falling asleep.

"She stole my chair" i said upset. Lena rolled her eyes. I went over and picked her up.

"Stef" Lena yelled at woke up.

"Let me go" she yelled jokingly and i walked her over to the pool and threw her in.

"Stefanie" Lena yelled at me jumping out of her chair to make sure Mariana was ok. Mariana resurfaced laughing.

"She's fine look she's laughing" I defended myself.

"You're lucky she's fine. Don't you ever do that again, god you gave me a heart attack" she said giving me her famous 'proceed with caution' look.

"Mama i'm fine" Mari said. As the boys were laughing at seeing their mom throw their sister in.

"Ok fine" i said too Lena.

I laughed at the memory. It's seemed we were one little happy family. It seems hard to believe i would ever risk ruining this family.

Brandon

I was sitting listening to our bands music when mom knocked on the door.

"Oh come in" i said turning the music off.

"I like that… whos it by" she asked.

"Oh it's my bands" i said and she smiled.

"Cool… can i hear it?" she asked and i played it for her.

"Who wrote the lyrics?" she asked.

"Oh i did a while back" i said and she looked shocked.

"Really there so good. You write a lot of songs?" she asked.

"Oh not really, I help with the band to write them but other than that. No this is the only one" i explained.

"Oh well what made you write this one" she asked. "A girl?"

Well this is awkward, it's the one i wrote for Callie.

"You can say that" i said and she nodded.

"Oh alright, i won't pry. Just curious about you" she said.

I shrugged, "Just into music for the most part"

"Well it's cool. I just wanted to talk to you a little bit before i head out" she said.

"Alright i'll see you tomorrow then?" i asked. She nodded and smiled.

"Yeah tomorrow" she said than left after saying goodbye.

Lena

The next day I was at work and Timothy knocked on the door.

"Come in" i said and he entered.

"Oh hey everything alright?" i asked.

"Yeah i just wanted to make sure you are ok" he said.

"Yeah of course why…"

"You're wife can't remember you, I mean that has too be upsetting. I was expecting you to take a few personal days" he said and i forced a smile. I got to work too not think about it and all my co-workers insist on checking on me.

"I did" i reminded him.

"Yeah but i was expecting you to take more" he said.

"I took a few after she went into a coma and a few after she woke up and couldn't remember me. I also have to take a maternity leave, i don't have a million personal days" i reminded him.

"Right i know. I was just wondering if you should be here. You have enough stress as it is" he said and i sighed.

"I'm fine, thanks for worrying about me but i'm fine" i said and he nodded.

"Alright well if you ever need too talk i'm here." he said and i smiled.

"Thanks" i said and he smiled. He turned around and left.

The next day I walked into my office after going to the bathroom and saw a rose on my desk. I picked it up there was no note on it. Great who left it. I left my office unlocked so anyone could have gotten in. Why though? I did a quick scan too make sure nothing was stolen, i highly doubt someone will steal from a vice-principals office and then leave a rose. But hey people do weird things. Who would even leave it?

'If you even need to talk i'm here' i remember him saying. I didn't think anything of it just that he was being nice. But maybe he was flirting with me?

**Sorry for the short chapter and a bit of a wait. I finally thought of something else too add too the drama anyways let me know what you think**


	9. Chapter 9

Stef

I have my follow up appointment today to make sure i'm healthy after everything. The doctor walked in and i smiled at him.

"Well how have you been feeling?" he asked sitting in his spinning chair.

"Pretty good" i answered honestly.

"So any memories coming back?" he asked.

"Oh yeah a few little snip-it's here and there."

"Good, good. Means you're memory should be coming back. Any episodes of severe dizziness?" he asked.

"No, i've been good" i responded.

"Good. You haven't passed out either right?"

"No really been feeling good."

"How about nausea, confusion, or suicidal thoughts?" he asked listening to my heart.

"Uh no, no suicidal thoughts or nausea but have you met my family? I'm constantly confused" i said and he laughed.

"Yeah well once you start getting your memories back you're be used to be confused" he joked.

"I'm just kidding you have a lovely family" he said

"Yeah seems that way." i said.

"So how long have you been my doctor?" i asked as he was typing in the information.

"Oh i would say a good fifteen, sixteen years" he said. Would he know anything? Besides with him it wouldn't be personal which is perfect.

"Um is it normal for two memories to… i don't know merge together?" i asked thinking back on my moms logical point.

"Very normal… it's almost impossible not to happen when you have lost your memory" he said. "Why do you think thats happening too you?"

"Um yeah possibly. Do you know anything about me getting pregnant around ten years ago or after that?" i asked.

"You miscarried ten years ago" he said. "It was early in the pregnancy, i would say you were a month at the absolute most."

Oh my god, it actually happened. I got pregnant, miscarried and hid it from my family. Who does that?

Lena

I walked into his room before homeroom started to talk to him. He smiled at me.

"Hey everything ok?" he asked.

"Did you leave me this?" i asked holding up the rose. He smiled.

"Yeah you like it?" he asked not even the tad embarrassed. He's cocky.

"Why are you leaving me flowers, Timothy?" i asked and he laughed.

"Because i thought you might like it" he said coming closer to me. I took a step back.

"Are you flirting with me?" i asked and he laughed.

"Yeah thats kinda what i was going for" he said and i took another step back.

"I'm married!" i pointed out.

"Your wife doesn't even remember you" he argued out as if that would make any difference.

"Thats not her fault and what's you're problem. I'm happily married and gay" i reminded him and he looked down.

"... I'm expected her child" i yelled at him annoyed by his boldness.

"No you're expecting mine" he yelled back. I shook my head and put the flower on his desk.

"If it's not about work, don't come near me" i said turning and leaving.

Stef

I laid there in bed trying to figure out what to do next. I still can't wrap my mind around it. I actually got pregnant and hid it from my family, how does that not scream affair. If i had an affair who did i have it with, and why? Supposedly i go through all this hell too come to terms with the fact that i'm gay and love Lena and then i go and have an affair with some man. That doesn't make any sense.

I betrayed Lena. I betrayed my entire family. This is not the type of person i want to be. I want to be a loving caring LOYAL wife and mother instead i just screwed up everything.

Mike

I've been spending a lot of time with Lena and the kids lately because i know everything is falling apart for each of them and i would like to try and make it easier for them. Besides Lena will eventually snap if she's trying to manage this family by herself. Which i might have just saw.

"Jesus i told you no skateboarding in the house and pick up your crap this place is a mess" she yelled looking like she could cry. Pregnancy, five kids, a wife who can't remember her who also might have had an affair (although i don't believe thats like Stef at all. But hey you don't know a person until they lose their memory and then admit to things without realizing they shouldn't admit to it) and hopefully nothing else.

"You alright?" i asked.

"No do i look alright?" she said back harshly.

"No thats why i asked" i said cautiously. Never piss off a pregnant woman, i learned that the hard way.

"Sorry too much is happening right now." she said starting to cook supper.

"Maybe you should take a day off… go see a movie with some friends or somthing. Either me or Sharon i'm sure will be more than willing to stay here with the kids." i said and she looked at me shocked.

"You kind of need it" i said and she smiled.

"Thank you" she said.

"Sure, anything else going on" i said sensing that on top of it all something else is happening right now.

"Do you remember Timothy?" she asked. Timothy? The name sounds familiar.

"Remind me" i said.

"Our sperm donor, Brandons old teacher" she said. Oh him, what trouble is he causing again.

"What about him?"

"He's flirting with me. He thinks he can because of Stef not remembering. That it means i'm single or something." she said shocking me. Talk about being a bold asshole.  
"Seriously?"

"Yeah"  
"I'll talk to him if you want" i offered. I know Stef would want me to do it in her absence.

"No i told him to leave me alone, if he doesn't then i'll tell you about it" she said. I have heard stories about him he doesn't seem like good enough of a guy to back off just because he got a no. Guess i'm going to tell him off, i won't let him continue that and disrespect Stef.

Stef

I woke up barely able to breathe and i was desperately gasping for air, the sound woke up my mom. She ran over to my bed and pulled me into her arms.

"It's ok… what happened?" she asked sounding like she was talking to a child.

"There... there was a gun and…" i said and she rubbed circles on my back which was strangely relaxing.

"It's ok, You're remembering being shot" she said. "Just breathe, baby"

**Why does my writing suck with this story lately. I need some good drama in it or something. Is it just me or does it suck? Sorry it's short and that it sucks trying my best to come up with drama that makes sense and for some reason it's not really working. I don't know it just feels forced, does it sound forced too you guys? Please be honest.**


	10. Chapter 10

Stef-present

My mom was the one who slipped up and told me about the next big secret i figured out about myself.

Flashback

I have been on edge all day, i guess remembering being shot will do that too you. It keeps flashing in my head. The image of the gun made me very anxious. My mom has been so worried about me ever since remembering being shot.

"I'm fine" i said.

"Fine? You woke up unable to breathe. You scared me" she said.

"I was panicked but i'm fine now. Why are you being so protective?" i asked and she sighed.

"Do you have any idea how many times i have gotten a call saying my daughter has been seriously hurt? You're cop and you get hurt all the time and lately it's been a lot of serious problems and you play it off as nothing." she informed me.

"I was called and told that you were shot and when you're shot there's a good chance you won't make it. Than only a few months later after finally getting back to life how it used to be you get into a car accident. You go into a coma and even though they tried to make it sound good there was very little chance you would make it though. Hell we were only about a few weeks from having to make a decision of letting you go or not…" she said. They were debating pulling the cord? Would i have wanted them too?

"All i'm saying is you're getting pretty close too nine lives" she joked but with a serious sad tone and i sighed.

"I'm only on my third really" i said and she shook her head.

"No you're not. You stopped breathing after being born, you attempted suicide, than the shooting and car accident…" she said but i'm still fixated on the second one.

"I attempted suicide?" she said and i sighed like she shouldn't have said that.

"Yeah as a teen, after the whole Tess 're dad when he got mad would say some really bad things. After he figured out about that he called you a mistake that he regretted which is far from true but he just doesn't realize not to say things. I wasn't there and i didn't know what he said too you until afterwards. I never forgave him for that." she said. My dad thought of me as a mistake?

Mike

I went into his room after school was done and he smiled at me confused.

"Oh hello… i'm sorry do i know you?" he asked.

"No you don't i'm friends with Lena. My names Mike" i explained and he nodded.

"It's nice too meet you, Mike. Is everything alright?" he asked still confused.

"You're flirting with her?" i asked and he laughed.

"Uh yeah i really like her if you must know" he said casually.

"She's married and just because her wife doesn't remember her doesn't mean you can…" i said and he interrupted me.

"Stef isn't going to get her memory back" he said confidently.

"Well she already is. Even if she wasn't you have some nerve flirting with someone elses wife. Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is?" i asked getting pissed.

"She's expecting my baby" he argued. Oh this again.

"She asked you to be a sperm donor trusting that you would sign away parental rights so her and her wife could raise the baby together" i yelled.

"I can't help that i fell in love with her ok" he yelled back and i rolled my eyes.

"Well deal with you're in love with a married woman. Stop trying to sabotage their relationship" i said and he looked pissed.

"I'm not… i just want to help her out she's going though a lot" he said.

"Yeah well you're not helping, you're just adding to her list of problems. She's gay and happily married open up your eyes" i said and he nodded.

"Ok i'll back off" he said sadly.

Lena

Stefs calling me, this should be interesting.

"Hey everything ok?" i asked.

"Uh yeah… i was just wondering if we could maybe go get a cup of coffee or something so we can talk?" she said.

"Oh yeah you sure you don't want to come back the house?" i asked but then maybe she doesn't want to risk the kids hearing.

"No i want too make sure it's just you and me. I really need too talk too you" she said seriously. It doesn't sound like good news.

"Oh yeah sure. I'll pick you up and we can go down too the coffee shop in town" i offered. She's not allowed to drive with her recent injuries and memory loss.

"Alright sounds good" she said and i went to pick her up. I can tell she's nervous which makes me nervous.

"So what is it you want to talk about" i asked once we got our coffees.

"A lot of stuff." she said looking upset.

"Last night i remembered being shot" she said. Thats the last thing i wanted her to remember. Why is it that she's mainly remembering bad stuff talk about being a pessimist.

"Are you ok?" i asked taking her hand before realizing i shouldn't have done that.

"I'm sorry i keep forgetting, bad memory with pregnancy i guess" i said and she smiled at me.

"It's ok and i'm ok i just had a long morning" she said.

"What happened?" i asked concerned.

"It's nothing just…" she said really nervously.

"What's going on, Stef?" i asked and she gave me a nervous smile.

"It's ok you can tell me anything" i said attempting to reassure her.

"Is it inappropriate that i kinda want to kiss you right now?" she asked and her face got bright red. I couldn't help but get happy. She wants to kiss me. I was worried her attraction to me wouldn't come back.

"No… it's not. I mean minus the fact that we are in public." i said and she laughed.

"Oh right sorry. I shouldn't have said that." she said embarrassed.

"No it's ok. We can go back to the house later…" i trailed off.

"I just thought maybe it will jog some memory or something…" she said defensively.

"Oh yeah thats a good idea. We haven't tried that yet" i said trying not to laugh at her. She's always been cute when she's embarrassed.

I can tell she wants to tell me something else but decided against it. We finished our coffees and went back to 'our' house.

"You don't have to be embarrassed or nervous" i said. I debated going too 'our' bedroom so she none of the kids walk in on it. Not that they haven't seen us kiss but i feel like it would make her more embarrassed. Anyways i decided against it because taking her too the bedroom would probably being sending a wrong message.

"Sorry you're just really beautiful…" Is she flirting with me? I smiled at her.

"So are you" i said and she laughed nervously. She's acting like i did the first time i kissed a girl but then again in a way this is her first kiss. It's kinda nice too get too be her first kiss, her first of everything pretty much.

"Yeah well you kissed me i haven't kissed you yet" she defended herself.

"Well maybe we can change that" i flirted taking her hand and sitting on the couch with her.

Stef

I went too go tell Lena that i know for a fact this unborn baby thing happened and instead i'm in her house going to kiss her for the first time. I wanted too tell her, thought she had a right to know, but after she held my hand all i could think about was kissing her.

"It's ok, no pressure" she said noticing my hesitation. Well this is really embarrassing.

I moved closer to her and she wrapped her arms around me and i moved the hair from her face too behind her ears. She gave me an encouraging smile. Ok so maybe i'm not completely screwing up.

I leaned in and so did she and next thing i know her lips were on mine. It felt amazing, definitely like i have been kissing them all my life.

We pulled apart and she smiled at me, i got bright red again.

"Oh babe you don't need to be embarrassed" she said and i burst into awkward giggles.

"I just kissed you" i said and she laughed.

"Yeah you did and you're a really good kisser" she said and i kept laughing nervously.

"Sorry, i'm embarrassing" i said and she laughed but not at me.

"It's ok to be embarrassing with me. You do it a lot" she said smiling at me.

**I know you guys claim it doesn't seem forced but it feels forced too me. Hopefully it passes. Anyways let me know what you thought.**


	11. Chapter 11

Stef

I remember kissing her, spooning her before we fell asleep as we kissed it all came back too me. Why would i ever cheat on her? It doesn't seem right.

"I have too tell you something" i said.

"Ok" she said steeling herself.

"I had my follow up appointment yesterday…" i said and she interrupted me.

"Is everything ok?" she asked worried.

"Yeah just i asked if i was ever pregnant after meeting you…" i started and i saw her bite her lip and play with her hands.

"He told me i was pregnant ten years ago… that i miscarried early maybe a month in at the most…" i trailed off. I can see that she's on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry" i said and she got up.

"Um i have a lot too do today" she said. Translation: get out of my house.

Lena

How could she cheat? She started our relationship off with cheating and lying? Do i even know who she is? I started crying and Jude came downstairs.

"Oh i'm sorry. Are you ok?" he asked.

"Oh yeah" i said whipping the tears off. He hugged me and i really need it.

After Jude left i called my dad. After a heart break i would always calm him, i never thought i would have too call him about Stef.

"Hey honey" he said.

"What's wrong?" he asked worried having heard me crying.

"Stef cheated on me" i said.

"What?" he asked shocked. When i called him up and told him Gretchen cheated he wasn't surprised at all. Now that i think about i wasn't either but Stef. I could never have thought she would cheat.

"Stef got a memory of being pregnant after she met me. Her doctor confirmed that she miscarried ten years ago" i said trying my best too slow my tears.

"Oh my god… honey maybe she got pregnant before you. You know right before her and Mike permanently split up" he pointed out and i felt like slapping myself. Why haven't i thought of that? If thats true why wouldn't she tell me?

Stef-present

This is when my memory started coming back the most. When my memory started getting confused.

Stef-flashback

I watched as Mariana ran after Jesus on the beach. Lena sitting next too me laughing at the sight. She looks beautiful in that bikini and so relaxed too. She looked over at me and smiled.

"I love you" she said but suddenly the scene switched. I was in a house i don't recognize and Mike was sitting there looking frustrated.

"I had a few beers what's the big deal?" he yelled.

"A few? You were passed out, Michael. All you're doing is getting drunk lately" i yelled at him.

"Oh you're being a bit over dramatic, don't you think?" he said.

"No i don't, Mike. We are expecting a child. A child, Mike. It's not like having a dog, you can't be getting drunk all the time" i yelled at him and sure enough i was pregnant.

"I'm just having a little fun with friends before the baby comes." he said but it sounded like lies.

The scene switched again and i was outside a school building. Lena standing next too me.

"We shouldn't be doing this" she said.

"Why not?" i asked and she sighed.

"You're married" she argued.

"We are separated" i argued back.

"So it's still cheating." she said.

"He doesn't make me happy anymore, you do" i said grabbing her hand.

I tried too make sense of it all but it's too jumbled. What am i suppose too get from each memory? Lena looks good in a bikini? My ex-husband is a drunk and me and Lena started before me and Mike officially ended. I knew all this, well minus Lena looking hot in a bikini but by the looks of her i would have assumed. Wait a second me and Lena started before me and Mike ended. What if i got pregnant during the overlap time?

Lena

The next day i went too work. I could have stayed home if i wanted too but watching tv all day by myself would just be depressing. Timothy came up too me, why won't he give me a break.

"I'm not here too flirt with you. You're boyfriend already told me too back off…" he said. Boyfriend? I haven't been accused of having a boyfriend since i came out at seventeen.

"Boyfriend?" i asked interrupting me.

"That Mike guy…" he said and i actually started laughing.

"Mike? A boyfriend? Please tell me you're kidding." i said and he shrugged.

"Mike is a friend of mine i met though Stef. He is just being protective right now because he knows Stef would want him too. And really Timothy you know i'm gay" i said and he nodded. I'm not surprised Mike told him off, I kinda thought he would. Like i said he feels the need too be protective because if Stef had the chance too see this coming she would have asked him too step up.

"Alright whatever" he said hands up in surrender.

"Mike's my wifes ex-husband you do realize that right" i said and he looked shocked.

"Oh ok than, sorry about i came too apologize" he said shocking me.

"You did?"

"Yeah you're going though a lot and instead of being a good friend and being there for you i made things worse and i'm sorry" he said sincerely.

"Well thank you that means a lot."

Stef

I was at the grocery store and a woman came up too me.

"Oh my god, Stef? It's been so long" she said. Well this is awkward.

"Oh yeah… i um was in a bad accident i don't have my memory. So i'm sorry who are you?" i explained and she looked shocked.

"Oh my god thats terrible. Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah i'm fine and i'm suppose too be getting my memory back but it's a slow process." i said. Who are you?  
"Oh right sorry, I'm Tess Brown. We went too high school together" she said. Tess? She was the girl i was cuddling with my dad caught me and sent me too see a youth minister.

"Oh thats cool…" Really thats cool is what im going with.

"Yeah well i really should be going but it was good seeing you again. I hope you get better" she said dismissing herself. Well this is awkward.

"It was good seeing you too"

I go too get milk and bread and run into Tess? She's definitely attractive i can see what younger me saw in her.

**Ok yet again just a short chapter that is alright. Anyways let me know what you think should happen next please. I need the ideas. **


	12. Chapter 12

Tess

I never thought i would run back into Stef let alone that she wouldn't remember anything. I have never regretted anything more than me giving up on Stef. I have never been one for drama and once things got dramatic i gave up on her. I have yet too love someone like i loved her. Sure i love Evan and after all he's my husband but i still never loved him like i did Stef.

I don't know what too do i'm married but i know i would never be truly happy like i was when with Stef. Should i try too be with her again? I mean maybe her not having her memory would be a good time for her too start a new relationship.

Stef

Me and Lena haven't really talked since i told her that i might have cheated on her ten years ago. I'm going too assume she's avoiding me and she has good reason too. I'm just upset it means i'm not seeing the kids. I was really hoping too be there for them after all they're my kids.

Lena

I stood up and my vision went dark, I'm so light headed. I need too stabalize myself or i might fall. I grabbed a hold of the bedside table and waited for it too pass. I slowly got my vision back and the light headedness went away. Ok well that wasn't good. I'm sure it's just me standing too fast. Either way i need too eat and have a big glass of water. I got out some crackers and poured myself a huge glass of water in hopes it will go away. Luckily i was starting too feel a bit better. I'll just keep an eye on that, i'm sure it's not too big of a deal.

After the long day was over i got into bed and curled up on Stefs side. I miss her so much, the real her with the memories. Now she's probably cheated on me and who i thought i was married too could have been an illusion. The mother of my kids, the love of my life could it really be just a series of lies from the very beginning.

Why would she cheat on me, and with a man nonetheless. It just doesn't make sense. Why would she go though all of the coming out and all that just too go behind my back and be with a man.

Stef

I was laying in a hospital bed with stitches in my head and a bandage wrap on my arm and leg. Did he get away? My head hurts just thinking about it.

The scene switched again and i was laying in bed but not a hospital bed. I could tell i was a kid in this memory. I could hear the sounds of my moms voice on the phone, she sounds sad and mad at the same time. I want too see if she's ok but it's past my bed time and she's already mad.

"What do you mean you didn't catch the guy?" she yelled angrily into the phone. There was a small break and than she spoke again.

"Well find him and bring her back" she said hanging up the phone. Who's the him and who is the 'her' that needs too be brought back?

My mom came back too our apartment and sat down sighing pulling me from my confusing memories. I can tell something is wrong.

"Those kids of yours are something else. I mean of course they are they are you're kids and you were awful during you're teen years but still. There mom is going though such a rough time and they aren't making it easy." she complained and i felt guilty again. She wouldn't be having a hard time if it weren't for me. I know that it's not my fault that i have no memory and isn't really there for the kids but i still feel bad. Even the whole possible cheating can be written off as 'not really' **my **fault since i don't remember doing it and hell i could be a completely different person without my memories but still. I feel so guilty that 'I' would ever do that too her.

Lena

I woke up in the morning feeling awful. I have a terrible headache and i feel like i could vomit. I ran my hand over my four month pregnant baby bump and tried too swallow the nausea. I do my best too try and go too school even if i'm not feeling good, but normally Stef would make me stay home. I decided i will give the day a try, i might just be really bad morning sickness. I stood up and the same blacking out sensation from yesterday came again and i sat down. Though the haze i could hear the kids arguing over the bathroom. I sighed waited for it too pass and went too go break it up.

This time the blackout waited until i was out of my room about too yell at my kids. Brandon noticed and went over next too me, i grabbed on too him desperately trying too stabilize myself.

"Mom" i heard him yell though the haze and thankfully it past.

"I'm ok" i said releasing the death grip on my sons shoulder.

"No i don't think you are" he said concerned.

"I'm fine, B. Don't worry about me" i said and looked over at the twins who quietly observed the whole thing with a worried look on there face.

"Stop fighting over the bathroom" i said going back into my room too get ready. Once i was downstairs the kids have already eaten breakfast and were ready too head out the door.

"I'll take you guys, i'm going there anyways" i said and they exchanged looks.

"No you're not and i don't know if you should drive." Brandon said. What does he mean i'm not going too work.  
"What?"  
"You just almost passed out, i called my dad. You're staying home" he informed me like a parent would.

"Excuse me but i can make the decision of whether i go too work or not for myself" i said and Mike came in.

"You almost passed out" he argued.

"Alright fine" i said giving up because i'm not feeling good enough too work anyways.

"I'll take the kids too school. You should probably call you're boss and doctor" he advised and i sighed.

Stef

I ran into Tess at the coffee shop the next morning and she smiled and waved at me.

"Oh hey, Tess right" i said just making sure my memory is right. Obviously my memory isn't at the best right now.

"Yeah it's Tess. You restarted an addiction too caffeine?" she asked remembering that i told her i forgot everything.

"Yeah just thought i will blend into the average americans" i joked and she laughed.

"Yeah really, by buying crappy expensive cups of coffee." she said and laughed.

"Yeah it's the american way" i joked and she continued laughing.

"I guess it is. So maybe we should go out for lunch sometime too you know catch up, and i'm sure it would be good too jog you're memory" she said. Is she flirting with me?  
"Oh um i guess so." i said and she smiled at me.

"Perfect, hows tomorrow?" she asked.

"Sounds great" i said. I just hope she doesn't want anything more out of this lunch date.

**Ok sorry for the wait i've been slacking majorly. i have a plot outline for this story now so it should flow easier, this chapter already feels less forced.**


	13. Chapter 13

Stef

I came to there house just wanting to talk to Lena and figure this all out. I miss her and the kids. I really don't believe i had an affair, i think i got pregnant by Mike and then kept it quiet (for whatever reason). There was that overlap of time where i was still with Mike and with Lena (not something i'm exactly proud of but whatever) that i could have gotten pregnant.

"Stef?" she asked. She was wearing a baggy shirt and i'm wondering if it's because she's starting to show.

"Ok i know you probably don't want too talk too me but can we please talk" i said and she nodded.

"Yeah sure come in" she said opening the door for me.

"Coffee?" she asked.

"Yes thanks" i said and she poured me a cup.

"What's going on?"

"I remember a lot" i told her and she smiled at me.

"Thats great, like what?" she asked taking a sip of her own coffee.

"About the kids, us, you know" i said and she nodded.

"Well thats amazing, i'm sure the kids will be thrilled." she said sitting down across from me.

"I don't think it was an affair, Lena" i said staring down into the cup of coffee.

"Than what would it be, Stef? If you don't remember all of what happened than don't say anything" she said trying to keep her voice down despite that she seems too want to yell it.

"I'm sorry" i said and she shook her head.

"I'm really trying, Stef. Ok i'm trying to handle everything and it's not easy so please if you're not a hundred percent certain don't get my hopes up." she said and i could see the tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have said anything. I just want too talk too the kids" i said and she stood up. I watched as she almost fell down.

"Lena" i said running over to her side holding her steady. What just happened?  
"I'm fine, stood up too fast" she said and i looked at her concerned. She looked like she was going to pass out, she really needs to be careful with her being pregnant.

"Maybe you should lay down for a bit" i offered.

"I'm fine, really. Go ahead and talk too the kids"she said but i didn't want to leave it at this. I'm worried about her and i don't want our conversation to end like this.

"Are you sure?" i said a little worried about leaving her alone. That baby she's carrying is mine and i want too make sure they are both ok.

"Yes i'm sure i'll sit down for a bit go see the kids" she insisted and i know thats the best i'm going to get. I went upstairs too talk too the kids.

Lena

I feel terrible, every time i stand up i feel like i could pass out. I have an appointment tomorrow for it. Hopefully everything is alright. I don't want to worry Stef and the kids before i know what's going on. Despite everything going on with the whole possible cheating i can tell that Stef really is worried about me.

Stef

I went into Marianas and Callies room to talk to them and hearing my voice the rest of the kids joined us.

"You came back?" Jude said and my heart broke. I promised myself i wouldn't abandon these kids and i made them think i was doing just that.

"Of course i would always come back. You're my family" i said a little awkwardly but it felt right. They all smiled.

"I'm starting to remember. I have gotten some memories back about all of you" i said and they all looked ecstatic.

"Really?" Mariana, Jude and Jesus asked.

"Like what?" Callie asked her guard still up. She's always been such a tough kid and i feel bad that she has too shelter herself like that.

"Like I remember that conversation we had about your mom after you lost the necklace" i said and she blinked away tears. Jude looked up at her and she put her arm around him resting her chin on his shoulder.

"I remember when i first saw you Jude. How scared you looked in that house and how relieved you were too see your sister. How Callie seemed more like a mom than a sister. It broke my heart and i knew i had to take you in." i said and he smiled tears in his eyes. These children are amazing and they have lived through so much more than i have (as far as i'm concerned.)

"I remember Mariana being so scared when we first took you guys in. Jesus did everything for you pretty much because you were scared of us." i said and she smiled at me.

"And Jesus crashing his skateboard the first time he rode it and trying to hide the cuts and bruises because you thought we wouldn't let you ride again. Brandon was the one who told us you were hurt." i said and he laughed.

"I remember Brandon would try and sneak downstairs after bedtime because you were scared we ate all the good food after you went to bed. The one time me and Lena actually had ice cream after you went to bed you saw us and thought we did it every night." i said and he laughed.

"You ate ice cream after we went to bed?" Jesus said as if it's the worst thing we could do and we all laughed.

Lena

I got up too go too the bathroom and I felt lightheaded again. My vision went dark and before I knew it I was on the ground. My vision came back and I took in my surroundings. I'm in the living room. I subconsciously made sure i didn't pee myself, as embarrassing as that would be, but i had too go too the bathroom and passing out could make you just go. Luckily i didn't. I stood up as slowly as possible trying to prevent passing out again.

I went to the bathroom and went to go upstairs. I need to go to the hospital i passed out this isn't good. I got upstairs and went into Marianas room where i could hear the laughing and teasing of my kids.  
"Hey mom you ok?" Brandon asked at the sight of me. Stef looked up at me worried.

"Uh yeah but… I just passed out" i admitted and Stef immediately got up and made me sit down.

"I'll take you to the hospital" Brandon said taking lead.

"Thanks" i said looking at the rest of my kids.

"I'll be fine just some check up stuff. Call Mike and tell him to come over" i said to them.

"Can I come?" Stef asked and i looked over at her. She's worried about us, i can see it. I shook my head yes and let her help me back up.

Brandon left a little later and it was just me and Stef. She looked at me and i tried to keep it all together but i can feel myself breaking. What am i going to do? I'm now told i have to stay on bed rest to prevent preeclampsia and that means i can't work. How am i suppose to support my family? What if i do get preeclampsia, what will happen than? I'm a single mom of five, soon to be sixth kids, i don't have someone to take care of me or support them. Sharon had to go back yesterday, so i don't have her. I'll probably have to call and ask my parents for help.

"You ok?" she asked and i broke down.

"No i'm not ok!" i said starting to bawl.

"I have five kids too support and i have too take a leave from work. How am I suppose to support them from a bed?" i shouted.

"Lena it's going to be ok" she said sitting next to me.

"I don't have someone to take care of me and i just don't know what to do" i said crying so hysterically that i can barely breathe.

"I'll take care of you" she said without even hesitating.

"I can't ask you to do that" i said whipping the tears away.  
"You're not, i'm insisting." she said putting her hand over my stomach.

"Let me take care of you and our baby" she said almost pleading like. I leaned in and kissed her and she held me close.

"It will be ok. I'll take care of you and i'll find a job to help pay. Let me do this" she said her hand still on my stomach. I nodded, yes, and she kissed my forehead.

"Go to bed" she said gently pulling me down too laying position and i laughed through the tears.

**Sorry about the wait, my english teacher is insane. I hope you like it and please review.**


	14. Chapter 14

Dana

I walked into the bedroom and immediately got worried by the look on my husbands face. I can tell something has happened.

"What is it?" i asked and he sighed.

"Lenas been put on bed rest" he said shocking me. Bed rest? My god hasn't she been though enough.

"What?"  
"Yeah her doctors worried about her getting preeclampsia so they put her on bedrest" he said and i know we are heading out. Who is going too take care of the kids if she's on bedrest, and who is going too take care of her?

"Just one terrible thing after another" i said worried about her. I just want too know she's going too be ok.

"Yeah I know… Stef agreed too take care of Lena" he said and I know he knows what my reaction is going too be.

"Lena doesn't need that cheater too take care of her" i said and he sighed.

"Honey we don't know if she cheated" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"She got pregnant while with Lena, obviously she cheated" i argued and he groaned.

"We don't know what happened, just don't say anything too Lena. She's been though enough" he said.

"I remember what she was like after she was with Gretchen, do you? It's better now than later. Like pulling off a band-aid, it's better too do it fast" i said walking away dismissing the conversation.

Lena

Mike came by too check on me after Stef left. I was told i can go home tomorrow and by than my parents will be here too help me move.

"You ok" he asked.

"Not really too be honest"

"You're parents coming out?" he asked.

"Tomorrow I don't know how long they are staying for" i answered.

"I'm sure that this will sort itself out." he said.

"I hope so... Can I ask you something?" i said hesitantly.

"Of course"

"Do you think Stef really cheated?" i asked and he shook his head.

"Thats not like Stef. She loves you. She wouldn't have done that" he said and i hope he's right.

"She got pregnant while with me" i pointed out and he shook his head.

"No, Lena. She got pregnant while with me" he said and I gave him a confused look.

"Around the time she figured out she was pregnant would have been about a month after the last time anything happened between us" he said and just gave him a disgusted look.

"I know but it's true, I'm sure she got pregnant than" he argued.

"Than why wouldn't she say anything?" i asked and he shook his head.

"I don't understand her and I never pretended too. It just doesn't make sense that she would cheat." he said.

"Yeah but…"

"Trust me, Lena. She's never been that into that part of our relationship... " he said awkwardly. I looked down too avoid eye contact.

"So why would she risk what she had with you for something she didn't even really like. It just doesn't add up. Besides three people at the same time, even if she wanted too she wouldn't have had the time" he said and he's right. Cheating just doesn't add up, something else had too of happened. Now the question is why wouldn't she say anything.

Stewart

We got her moved back into her own bed and I have been careful too keep the conversation on the kids, or anything other than Stef. I know Dana would say something if given the chance so i'm trying too keep that chance from happening. It's impossible too keep Dana from saying what she wants too say but i'm trying to buy Lena some time before she starts. I want too talk too my daughter before everything goes too hell. Lena normally will sit back and take it but she is always defensive when the criticism is about a girl she's with. She gets protective almost.

"So I'm not going too ask you if you're ok" i said walking in and she laughed. I know she hates that question, especially if she is anything but ok.

"Good i would have kicked you out" she said and i laughed.

"You can't go anywhere so you're stuck with me, besides i'm used too it." i said thinking back on all the times she's 'kicked me out' of her room as a kid or teen (mostly teen).

"I'm sure you are"

"Oh yeah, you where like a bomb about too go off. It took so much too make you made but man when you did it was like take shelter" i joked and she played slapped me.

"You're hilarious"

"I can't count how many fights you got into with me and you're mom because of some girl" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"It's not my fault mom is overly critical" I argued and he laughed.

"It is you're fault that you dated a senior in college when you where junior in high school" he argued and i laughed.

"Lets not bring up the past…" she said and i laughed.

"How is everything with Stef?" he asked.

"I don't know what too think. She agreed too take care of me and like really wanted too and is really concerned about me." she said and i smiled at her.

"Is she remembering things?" i asked and she nodded.

"She's remembering a lot actually. She's really trying with the kids and me, it's nice too see"

"Thats good. Just play things by year, I'm sure everything will sort itself out. In the meantime we are here and i will try too keep you're mom off you're back" i said and she laughed.

"Thank you" i said hugging him.

Stef

Tess came up too me and I smiled at her.

"How are you?" she asked sitting down next too me at the coffee shop.

"Alright"  
"Thats good so we really should hang out sometime" she said.

"If I have time, sure" i said.

"Are you working?" she asked confused.

"Oh no, not yet. I need too try and find a job but i have my wife too take care of and kids" i said and she looked shocked.

"Wife and kids?" she asked baffled.

"Yeah my wife is on bedrest because they think that she's going too get preeclampsia and i have five kids" i said and she looked even more shocked.

"Yeah I know imagine waking up and being told this is you're life" i said.

"Wow thats a lot too take in" she said.

"Yeah but there my family and i wouldn't change it for the world." i said and she smiled.

"Thats nice even through you don't have any memories of them" she said.

"Actually i'm starting too get my memories back and either way there still my family. Lena, my wife, is still expecting my baby and those kids are still my kids" i said and she smiled.

"Thats nice" she said looking defeated.

**Sorry it's short and was a long wait.**


	15. Chapter 15

Mariana

Grandpa came up too my room and i smiled at him. He looks like he's up too something which is intriguing.

"What is it?"

"You know how you're Gram is?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" i asked confused. She's always been nice too me and my siblings but i know her coming always stresses mama out. She can be very critical of everything mama does.

"Too you're mom" he clarified.

"Overly critical?" i asked and he laughed.

"Exactly, and it's the last thing you're mama needs right now. I was thinking maybe you and Jesus could have something to fight about today" he suggested and i laughed.

"Of course thats very easy too do" i said and he laughed.

"I thought it would be"

Stef

I glared at the positive pregnancy test and tried to think of what to do next. This is why I shouldn't make a habit out of getting drunk. Especially getting drunk and sleeping with my best friend that i'm only suppose to be friends with. Way too screw up that friendship, Stef. Now i have too tell him I'm pregnant.

At least it's Mike, he wouldn't leave me too do this alone. I sighed and decided to just get this over with.

I got to his house and walked in. He walked out of the bathroom and glared at me.

"Really Stef? Do you know what knocking is?" he asked and i rolled my eyes.

"We have this conversation every time and every time i still just walk in, you probably should just give up" i said and he sighed.

"What's up?"

"Well… do you have any food?" i asked wanting to eat since that's normally what i come over for.

"Yes i do have stuff that could be called food, it's not your apartment" he said and i faked laughed. I got out a bottle of water and looked at him.

"Want a grilled cheese?" i asked and he nodded. I got out the stuff and started making two grilled cheeses.

"So what's going on?"

"Wait until the food is done?" i said and he glared at me.

"What we always eat during serious conversation"

"Serious conversation?" he asked.

"Yeah why did you think i was here?" i asked and he glared at me.

"Ok point taken" i said and he laughed. The grilled cheeses where done and i sighed. Here goes nothing.

"You're starting to worry me" he said.

"I'm pregnant" i said and he looked at me shocked.

"What?" he said shocked.

The memory ended and i sighed. That doesn't help me much with the pregnancy drama.

Lena

I can hear the twins arguing about who knows what from downstairs and i groaned. Can't those too stop bickering for one day? I heard my mom yell at them and i laughed.

"Will you too stop it" she yelled. She's only ever had me so she didn't have to deal with siblings fights so it's actually funny to hear her put up with it.

"For goodness sakes you're mom just got back from the hospital and i have barely even seen her because you kids conveniently…" she said and then i think something hit her.

"Stewart" she yelled and i started laughed. My dad set my kids up so i wouldn't have to deal with my moms criticism, good play dad.

After a while of not being able to hear the drama of downstairs i heard someone come upstairs. 'Please be one of the kids or my dad' i pleaded but wasn't that lucky.

"Did you have something to do with your dad setting the kids up too distract me from 'criticising' you?" she asked and i bit my lip. Even though i had no part in it i do feel bad.

"No he did that himself" i defended myself and she sighed sitting on the bed.

"I just wanted to talk to you" she defended herself, and maybe thats true.

" Ok what's up" i said and she laughed.

"You know i'm constantly worried about you lately" she said and i shrugged.  
"I'm fine"

"I know that i can be hard on you sometimes but i never do it too be mean. You just sometimes forget that i know best" she said and i laughed.

"With that said…" she said and i groaned.

"You might as well get it out of the way… you know it's going to happen" she said and i smiled at her.

"Knock yourself out you have no self-control" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"I just don't want you getting hurt… i remember how bad you were after Gretchen" she said and i sighed.

"Mom they're not the same" i said defending her.

"Cheaters are all the same" she said and i just shook my head.

"She didn't cheat." i said and she shook her head.

"Honey she got pregnant while with you, obviously it wasn't you're doing" she said and i sighed.

"She got pregnant while with Mike, there was that overlap…" i said and she cut me off.

"Exactly my point, there was an overlap. Honey not too be too cruel but if someone will cheat too be with you they will cheat on you" she said and i know despite everything she has a point.

"It was different than" i said and she nodded.

"Why because she wasn't aware of her sexuality that doesn't change the fact that she cheated on Mike" she said and i felt terrible.

"All I'm saying is don't get yourself more hurt" she said and i shook my head.

"I can take care of myself" i said and she nodded.

"I know but still" she said. "I should probably go make sure Stewart can handle those kids fake fighting or not" She left.

Stef

I came over and an older woman answered the door.

"Oh hello" i said, she doesn't look exactly happy with me but i don't even know her.

"I'm Lenas mom" she said and i smiled at her.

"It's nice too meet you" i said and she smiled at me. "I know that we already met.."

"It's ok can we talk actually" she said leading me outside.

"Oh sure."

"Listen it's sweet of you that you are willing to take care of Lena and all but thats what me and my husband are out for" she said.

"Oh well it's good that you guys are out but i just thought that i could help her. I mean she's carrying my baby" i said and she shook her head.  
"Do you remember how you got pregnant around the time you met Lena?" she asked.

"No that memory hasn't came back too me yet" i explained suddenly realizing why she hates me.

"I see"

"Listen i understand that you are mad at me. I can't blame you if i thought that Mariana or Callie was being cheated on i would be pissed too but I just woke up too this. Ok I woke up with no memory of any of my past so i don't know what i did. No i can't be sure i didn't cheat on your daughter and if i did i'm so sorry. I could never do that now, so i don't understand how i could do it than" i said and she nodded.

"Alright but don't upset her" she said letting me.

"Of course i wouldn't"

Lena

I heard footsteps upstairs and I hope it's not my mom. Instead i saw that it was Stef.

"Oh hey" i said smiling at her.

"Hey i got past the guard" she said and i groaned. Great my mom managed to interrogate her, i'm surprised she was allowed in at all.

"My mom?" i asked and she nodded.

"Sorry thats what she does" i said and she shook her head telling me not too worry about it.

"It's ok. She's just worried about you" she said and i smiled at her.

"How are you?" she asked worried about me herself.

"I'm fine, restless. Getting a little stir crazy too be honest" i admitted and she laughed.

"I brought you some chocolate…" she said giving me a box of Gertrudes Hawks chocolates and i smiled at her.

"I couldn't remember if you liked it but i thought who doesn't like chocolate" she said nervously.

"You didn't need to do that, thank you" i said and she smiled awkwardly. I looked at the box and laughed a little. Either she's a good guesser or remembering without realizing she's remembering.

"What's funny?" she asked.

"You're a good guesser caramels my favorite" i said and she smiled.

"Oh good i wasn't sure"  
"What did my mom say to you?" i asked and she sighed.

"Not much, just that they are out so I don't need to be here too take care of you…" she said and I knew my mom was trying to keep her out.

"Well you don't have too take care of me…" i said and she stopped me.

"No i want too" she insisted and she really wanted too.

"Well either way don't let the guard keep you out… the kids love when you come and I love seeing you and i'm going to be dying of boredom" i said and she laughed.

"Ok i won't you can't get rid of me that easily, you're my family" she said and tears came to my eyes. Thats the first time she called us that since waking up. She really is going to be the Stef I knew and loved once again.

**Let me know what you think.**


	16. Chapter 16

Stef

I have figured out real quick that Dana is the critic and probably was a strict parent and Stewart is the safe haven almost. It seems when Dana goes crazy and speaks her mind Stewart is there too make things better. He also seems like he's the one that can get Dana too calm down if need be. Despite how Dana acts i can tell that she's is just trying too protect her daughter and that she really loves Lena. It's good that this level of support is there for Lena and the kids they need it.

"Hey is Lena ok?" Dana asked me concerned. I have been here for a few days too take care of Lena and whether she likes it or not she has too get along with me for her daughter and grandkids sake.

"Yeah she puked a few times but I finally got her too go too sleep" i said and she nodded.

"Listen I don't want you thinking that i hate you or anything" she said and i can tell this is a hard thing too do for her.  
"I don't" i said honestly. Her dislike of me isnt personal, as weird as that sounds. She just doesn't like me because she's afraid i'm going too hurt her daughter. She doesn't hate me as a person, if that makes sense.

"Lena was cheated on before and it destroyed her…" she said and i didn't know that. Well that explains that.

"I didn't know that"

"Her name was Gretchen and Lena dated her for two years *sorry if that is wrong i can't remember how long they actually dated* before meeting you. Lena loved her but Gretchen was 'free spirted' she didn't really seem like a settle down type. Her job had her traveling and so she took Lena with her around the world but Gretchen ended up sleeping with Lenas best friend. Lena was devastated when she figured out." she said and I felt guilty. What if i really did cheat and Lena goes though it again? If she was so broken after Gretchen i'm sure she would be worse if her wife cheated. I hope i didn't do that, i could never live with myself if i hurt these amazing people.

"I really wish that i wouldn't do something like that, Lena is such an amazing person and I really hope i couldn't have done that too her." i said and she smiled at me.

"I really hope you didn't too, I really liked you for my daughter" she said and left too go start dinner.

When everyone was downstairs i decided that i was going too ask for ideas for my earlier idea.

"So i need some help with something" i said getting everyone's attention.

"I was thinking that I could go on a date with mama but obviously thats a little challenging with her not allowed too leave the bed…" i said. I think it would be good for her because she's been though so much she needs a night away from it all but how do i work with the limitations. Also i think it will be good for me because it will jog memories and make me feel even closer too her, also since we have like unofficially got (back) together we need it.

"Oh thats a good idea, we could set up a temporary table type thing in the bed" Mariana offered.

"Me and Dana could make a nice meal" Stewart offered and i smiled. This family seems too work together well.

"I could serve you guys like a waiter" Jude offered and i laughed. I love this family so much.

"You would do that?" i asked.

"Sure" he said.

"I'll go out and get some sparkling grape juice" Callie offered.

"Now we just need a table" Dana pointed out.

"We have that small tv table from years ago, we could set it up when she's in the bath and surprise her." Brandon said and I smiled. I'm going too help Lena into the bath in an hour or so, that would be a perfect time for them too set this up.

"What about candles?" Jesus asked.

"That could be dangerous especially on the bed" Dana dismissed the idea.

"Brandon could play some romantic music" Jesus said and he looked hesitant.

"Oh i don't know" Brandon said i'm sure he wouldn't hesitate before his hand got smashed. Now he has trouble with it a little bit but he's still really good.

"Oh well I'm sure it would make it even more special for you're mom if you did. We couldn't find better music than yours" i said and he smiled.

"Ok i guess so"

An hour later i have gotten her into the bath and was hoping this goes smoothly. They are only set up the table and making it look nice in the room so hopefully she doesn't hear them. Jesus and Callie agreed too set the table up, Mariana and Jude are making fake menus (with like two maybe three items on it), Dana and Stewart are making the dinner, and Brandon is practicing his piano. I have changed into some nicer clothes, not suspiciously nice through.

I got her cleaned up and stalled a little bit until i heard the all good signal which is Mariana and Jesus fake fighting (they have a natural skill at it) and than got her out and ready for this date she doesn't know about.  
"Hate when the twins fight, i was enjoying listening too Brandon play. I wonder what got him too play again" she said and i smiled.  
"I don't know maybe he got a muse" i said smiling too myself.

I led her into the room where the table was skillfully set up on the bed and she looked over at me confused.

"You will see in a minute" i said leading her too the bed and helping her sit down without tipping the very tipsy table.

"Stefs what are you up too?" she asked laughing.

"Well taking my lady on a date" i said and she laughed. Jude walked in with the two menus and dressed in such nice clothes.

"Oh my god" Lena said shocked. Jude walked over too the table and put the menus in front of us.

"I'm Jude and I will be you're server for the evening" he said and i can tell Lena has tears in her eyes.

"We have sparkling grape juice, and water for our drinks today" he offered and Lena laughed.

"Uh yes i will have the sparkling grape juice… and so will she" i said noticing she's at a lack of words at the moment.

"I will have that right out for you guys" he said leaving and Lena looked over at me.

"You where behind this weren't you?" she asked jokingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about,all i'm doing is taking a beautiful girl on a date" i said and she blushed a little bit.

"I'm sorry it's not a real date" i said and she shook her head.

"Are you kidding me? This is the sweetist thing anyone has done for me and it's much better than a real date" she said and i smiled at her.

"You're more than worth it"

"Well aren't you a flirt?" she said laughing.

"Guilty as charged." I said and she picked up the menu and laughed.

"Who made these?" she asked.

"Mariana and Jude" i said. They did it on the computer and printed it on so it looked like a legit menu from a restaurant. They had a lot of fun with it to. They have a nice design on the top, and the name of the restaurant is El bedroom but they said we have too say it with an accent. They have the two drink choices, a few appetizers (it's just food from around the house-like apple sauce and cheese and crackers), the two meal choices (chicken alfredo and alfredo without chicken), and a few desert choices like pudding, cookies or a cup of vanilla ice cream (again found in the house).

She laughed, "This is so cute, I honestly think i have been too restaurants with less options than this."

"Well you will have too compliment the chefs, you're mom and dad" i said whispering the last part like it was a secret.  
"I guess i will" Jude came back up with our drinks which where poured into wine glasses. He put them down in front of us.

"Have you decided what appetizer you want?" he asked.

"Oh yes i will have the apple sauce, please. Can i have cinnamon on that?" she asked.

"Of course i will get that for you, and for you?" he asked fake writing Lenas order on a notepad.

"I will have the applesauce and can i have cinnamon to" i said and he wrote it down.

"I will have that right out for you" he said and left.

"What did you bribe the kids with?" she asked.

"Nothing, they wanted too do it. They are good kids" i said and she nodded in agreement.

"They are"

"So what do you think you're getting?" i asked and she laughed.

"I don't know it's a hard choice, there is so many good options on this menu" she said and i laughed.

"Well it's no three star this is a great five star restaurant and i think one of those girls on those cooking shows got there start in this very restaurant" i said elegantly and she laughed.

"Is that so? Well i guess the food should be very delightful than" she said and i laughed.

"Only the best for you my love" i said and she smiled.

"I didn't know this restaurant had dinners to , i just thought it was a breakfast diner" she said almost seriously.

"The kids, a few years ago, tried too make us a breakfast date for mother day but they ended up almost setting the house on fire" she said and i laughed.

"Really?"

"Yeah it was great" she said thinking back.

"Even through we didn't get too eat anything?" i asked and she nodded.

"Yeah but they tried really hard on it and that made it special" she said and i smiled at her.

"You're a great mom" i said.

"So are you" she said and i shrugged.

"No really you got Brandon too play again" she said.

"Hes so good at it, it's beautiful. Who taught him?" i asked.

"I think he taught himself a lot of it but he had a few music lessons in kindergarten and elementary school" she said. As far as i'm concerned me and mike aren't very musically gifted so he got lucky.

We ate our supper and than got some puddings for desert and than Brandon and Jesus took down the table and we snuggled together for a bit.

"That was really sweet of you" she said. "All of you"

"Of course you deserve it" i said and she smiled kissing me.

"I love you" she said not realizing what she was saying but she didn't take it back.

"I love you to" i said rubbing her back.


	17. Chapter 17

Stef

I went down to the station too see if i could figure something out so i can work and get some money.

"Listen,Stef. You were a good cop and a really hard worker. I want to help you, but you can't work as a cop without your memory unless you go through the training and all that again" she said.

"How do I do that?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Stef what's going on, why are you this desperate for money?" she asked and i sighed.

"Lena is on bedrest because the doctor is afraid she will get preeclampsia, she can't work we need to be making money somehow." i said and she looked shocked.

"I'm sorry, you are still being paid for your medical leave and i'm sure Lena is too… and I know thats not enough but I don't know what else to offer you" she said and i sighed.

"Well thank you for talking too me" she said.

"Stef, tell Lena i hope she feels better" she said and i smiled at her.

"I will can I use you as a reference" i asked wondering if there is a place i can get a few hours of just a simple job.

"Of course where are you going to get a job?" she asked confused.

"I don't know any simple job for a few hours just to make some income." i said and she nodded.

"Call me if you were too get your complete memory back, and we will talk about starting you as soon as possible"

Lena

I rubbed my stomach and swallowed the nausea. My dad came upstairs to find me and i smiled at him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah just a little nauseous" i said.

"Do you want me to get you crackers or something" he asked.

"No i'm good, what's up?" i said and he shrugged.

"Just checking up on you, don't want you get lonely up here" he said.

"Yeah do you remember when i got sick really bad as a kid and you sat with me and we played games and talked about anything for a whole two days?" i asked and he laughed.

"Yeah I do, I remember actually finishing a game of monopoly, i didn't think that was possible" he said and i laughed.

"I don't think i have finished one since and it only took us like five hours" i said and he laughed.

"Well you kept interrupting it too puke" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"Oh i'm sorry i really should have thought not to interrupt the game." i said and he laughed.

"I remember when you were six years old and you had a little relationship with the neighborhood girl" he said and i laughed.

"Oh my god, I almost forgot about that" i said and he laughed.

"You're mom wasn't very happy, and i even conveniently left out the fact that i saw you two kiss" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"It was on the cheek and thanks for that. See i can never please mom she was a nice girl and she was my age and everything" i said and he laughed.

"I think that was the only time you have ever dated someone your age, they were always older" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"That was just a coincidence" i defended myself and he just glared at me.  
"Sure" he said skeptical.

Stef

I laid there and tried to figure out my surroundings, i'm back in my childhood house. The tv was playing some cartoons and my mommy looked like she had tears in her eyes.

"No that can't be" she said sounding very upset.

"Mommy" i said sitting up and pulling my knees too my chest. She turned around but didn't say anything.

"Please just bring her home, ok." she said and ended the call.

"Mommy is everything ok?" i asked and she forced a smile.

"Of course everything is ok, lets go make some supper. Can you help me with the salad?" she asked. Normally i would complain because i don't like salad but mommy is upset so i didn't.

"Is Jamie going to go home soon?" i asked and she looked shocked.

"Honey how did you hear about that?" she asked.

"Jamie isn't home she didn't go too sunday night dinner, and i heard Antie Kristy praying that she gets home safely. Where is she?" i asked and she look shocked.

"Oh honey she's going to be ok" she said.

"Is that who you were talking about on the phone?" she asked.

"No honey"  
"Well than who were you talking about?" i asked and she sighed. She does that when i ask questions she doesn't like.

"Honey thats adult talk, nothing for you to concern yourself with." she said but i want to know where Jamie is.

"I want to play with Jamie" i said and she kissed my head.

"You will, you just have to wait a bit. Now if you help me with supper we can make cookies later and decorate them and have them for dessert after" she said and i smiled but i know something is still wrong.

The memory ended and I can feel the tears in my eyes. Jamie? She was my cousin, what happened to her?  
Lena

I heard a knock on the door and told them they could come in. Stef walked in followed by Timothy and i smiled at him politely. Oh god, what's this going to be about.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked and i can tell Stef doesn't know who he is.

"I'm ok." i said and he nodded.

"I wanted too make sure you were ok, I heard you were on bedrest" he said as Stef dismissed herself.

"Yeah but I'm fine, It's just a precaution to make sure i don't get preeclampsia" i said she looked at me concerned.  
"I'm so sorry" he said.

"For what?"  
"Just not being here for you" he said as if he is suppose to be here for me.

"You weren't suppose to be" i reminded him.

"I'm trying…" he said and i gave him a weird look.

"Trying what?"  
"Too not think of you that way" he said and i sighed. Great this again.  
"I really am, but i think i'm love with you" he said and i didn't know what to say. I've never been in this position, I'm normally the first one to say it, and if i'm not i still loved them back (or at least thought i did).

"I don't know what you want me to say here" i said awkwardly.

"Nothing, I know that nothing could happen between us. I get that, but i still wanted to tell you" he said awkwardly himself.

"Ok well…"

"I should be going" he said and smiled at me. He left and Stef walked back in.

"What was that all about?" she asked and i didn't know what to say.

"Oh um" i said and she can tell something is wrong.

"Is everything ok?" she asked her hand resting on my knee.

"...That was our sperm donor" i began to explain and she looked shocked.

"It was?" she asked.

"Yeah… he um has made it obvious since i got pregnant and you lost your memory that he has a crush on me" i said and she looked at me concerned.

"What did he say to you?" she asked.

"Well after you lost your memory he flirted with me and implied that since i'm expecting 'his' baby that i should be with him. Mike went over to talk some sense into him and he backed down for a bit. It didn't last for long because he told me today that he thinks he's in love with me" i said and i can she's mad. I would be if anyone were to try and get with my girlfriend ever let alone while i have no memory. Like who does that?

"What? Listen I'll talk to him myself. Don't worry about anything" she said putting an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm fine, thank you" i said and she kissed my forehead three times. It's great to see the little things that come back to her without her noticing.

Stef

I looked down shocked my hand covered in blood, tears stinging my eyes. I ran to the bathroom and puked. My baby is dead, how could this happen. I got up and took myself too the emergency room, after changing into clothes not drenched in blood.

I woke up in the hospital room after a nap too my phone ringing. Lena, oh this should be interesting. I looked over at the time, 7:45. We had a date tonight and i missed it, I'm sure she's calling to yell at me.

"I'm sorry" i said hoping my voice didn't give away the fact that I just woke up from a nap after crying for over a solid hour.

"Are you ok?" she asked. Guess i wasn't so lucky.

"Yeah i'm not feeling so good. B is at his dad's" i said and i know she's going to get worried but what else was i suppose to say. Besides none of that was technically lying I'm not feeling good at all and B is at his dad's.

"Oh do you want me to come over" she said and i panicked.

"No i'm going to be sleeping anyways" i reasoned but know that she's not going to just accept that.

"Oh well no one should be alone while sick, i'll come over" she said and i'm really trying to think of a solution.

"No i'm fine for the night. Come out in the morning, all i'm going to do is shower and sleep" i said and she sighed.

"You shouldn't be alone" she said.

"I'm fine really it's just a migraine. I'll call you when i wake up but it will probably be later cause i normally sleep later with a migraine" i said still nothing is really a lie.

"Ok fine you win but please call if you change your mind, and i don't care what time of night it is" she said and i promised her and she finally hung up. I can't tell her yet, I just need a little bit of time to deal with this myself first. I was planning on telling her I was pregnant on our date tonight but now all i want to do is spend sometime figuring this out myself. I'll tell her when the time is right.

**Sorry about the delay, i don't really have an excuse. So let me know what you think. Did you guys really think the Timothy drama was done with? Come on now thats no fun. Also i hope you like how i handled the miscarriage thing and Stef not telling yet thing it's not like i have experience in the topic so keep that in mind. Also please check out my profile page and let me know what story i should write in the distant future.**

**Also i started a job yesterday so less time for me to write for you but good for me because i needed a job, and i actually like it.**


	18. Chapter 18

Lena

Stef came upstairs and I can tell by her smile she has good news. I raised an eyebrow at her and shook my head.

"What did you do?" i asked jokingly.

"I didn't do anything" she denied honestly.

"Normally when you give me that smile you did something bad and you know you're going to get yelled at." i said and she laughed.

"Nothing bad, I have good news actually" i said.

"Go ahead tell me already" i said rolling my eyes.

"I remember when i got pregnant, you know than, I didn't have an affair" she said and i sighed of relief. No matter how many times i tried to convince myself that she didn't there was still a part of me that was unsure, and that scared me.

"Really?" i asked smiling and she shook her head.

"Yeah i miscarried but i know that i didn't have an affair it was Mike's kid, I can remember it" she said excitedly and I pulled her towards me and kissed her.

"I love you" i said and she sat on the bed with me.

"I love you too" she said back and I kissed her again.  
"You remember it?"

"Yeah I remember actually miscarrying…" she started sadly and my happiness faded a bit. She lost a baby, I can't imagine what thats like and i never want too. The thought made me put my hand protectively over my baby bump.

"I'm sorry" i said and she put her hand over my stomach.

"Do you want too talk too her?" i asked and she nodded. I laid down and she got off the bed but kneeled beside it. She put her one hand over it and kissed my stomach and i smiled. She has started talking to her a lot more now that a lot of her memory is coming back. She's feeling more connected to all of our kids even the one she hasn't met yet.

"Hey baby" she said sadly.

"I love you so much and i would anything to protect you and keep you happy. I can't wait for you too be born so i can hold you. I love you" she said tears now running down her cheek she kissed my stomach and then looked up at me. I opened my arms and she got up and joined me in bed.

"You ok?" i asked.

"She died, and I didn't protect her" she said and i shook my head. Stef always blames herself if something happens to someone she loves even if there is no logical way it's her fault.

"Thats not true, there was nothing you could have done" i said and she seemed lost in thought.

"I was cheating on Mike and then my baby died" she said and i sighed. Her mind finds something to make it seem like her fault even if they have no relation to each other. If you believe in karma though this is a legit way of being guilty for something happening that isn't your fault. Stef isn't really the believe in karma kind of person so this is her finding a way to feel guilty because she needs an explanation for why her daughter died. She needs to blame someone for the tragedy even if it is herself.

"Honey this isn't your fault" i told her running my fingers through her hair.

"She died" she said and i can tell that the old Stef never really got a chance to grieve and that it's all coming out now.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. This isn't your fault" i said again and rubbed her back.

"Yes it is, why else will this happen?" she asked a tear running down her cheek. She whipped it away immediately and i can tell she feels embarrassed for crying.

"I know this is hard for you, but unfortunately sometimes bad things just happen" i said not entirely sure what to say too make her feel better. She shook her head no.

"No there has to be some reason" she said and i can't imagine what she's going through.

"Come here, sweetheart" i said gently pulling her towards me. She laid her head on my shoulder.

"It's ok, i want you to talk to me about this whenever you need to talk." i said this relationship is new to her and I want her too know she can (and should) come too me.

Stef

I called Mike because he would be the father so he has a right to know. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey what's up?" he asked.

"I remember when i got pregnant around the time i met Lena." i said.

"Really so what happened?" he asked.

"I got pregnant with you during that overlap…" i said awkwardly.

"Anyways i miscarried the day i was planning on telling you two" i said and he didn't respond for a bit.

"So you just didn't tell us?" he asked once he finally spoke. I can tell from his tone in his voice that he is mad at me but is trying to keep himself from yelling at me. I can't blame him i would be pissed.

"I'm sorry, i don't know why i would have done that. All i remember is miscarrying and thinking that i will tell you guys later but wasn't going to tell you right away because i wanted to have sometime to think it through myself." i said but i know it still doesn't make up for the fact that for eleven years i have kept a baby from him that has passed away.

"I had a right to know that you got pregnant by me and then miscarried" he said raising his voice a bit. I know he doesn't want too actually yell at me because i don't have the memory of it but he's getting pissed.

"I know i don't know why i would have done that" i said honestly. What a bitch move on my part.

"Did you tell Lena?" he asked.

"Yeah i did" i said.

"Let me know if you remember any more details on it" he said and then hung up. Yep he's pissed.

Timothy

There was a knock on the door and I went to get it. Stef was on the other side, ok this can't be good.

"Oh Stef, hey. Is everything ok?" i asked but i can tell she's pissed at me.

"You really thought it would be ok too try and get with Lena while i didn't have my memory?" she asked pissed.I can't blame her that wasn't right of me.

"I'm sorry i shouldn't have done that?" i said sincerely.

"You think? Leave Lena alone" she said sternly.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" i said but i can tell she isn't going to have it.

"You love her? Sorry but what good is telling her that going to do? She's happily married and gay… you're not going to change that" she said and I didn't respond.

"Just give her some space, and when she comes back to work you better not say anything that isn't professional too her do you understand me?" she said and i nodded.

"I do, sorry. I was completely out of line. I shouldn't have done that, that wasn't right" i said honestly.

"Good" she said and left.

Stef

I started looking around for a place i could make a little bit of money and still have time to be home with Lena and take care of her. I checked out places like grocery stores, and all that. I eventually heard of an opening at the local Ymca in a child watch center I checked into it and figured out i already have the clearances because i needed them for being a cop. I would have to be good with kids, right? I have five of them.

"So I'm looking into getting a job" I told Lena and she smiled at me.

"Like a temporary one?" she asked.

"Yeah the local Y has a child watch program and they are looking for someone" i said and she nodded.

"Yeah it sounds like a good job, and you're good with kids" she said.

"Yeah it's only like a few hours a day but it's better than nothing" i said and she agreed.

"It will be good for you, probably jog some memories, and it's a fun job most of the time" she said laughing.

"Thats what i was thinking" i said and she nodded.

"You should go for it"

"Do you think they will hire me even though i don't have any memories?" i asked.

"I'm sure they will. It comes naturally to you, and that's normally how being good with kids are, as long as you have the clearances you should be good." she said.

"I have them for being a cop"

"Perfect, just bring it up in the interview and talk about it. Don't ever lie about it" she said and i nodded. I'm still not sure they will hire me but hey worth a try.

**The job i'm having Stef looking into is what i'm doing currently. I was wondering what job i could give her and i humored the idea and it actually helped the story along in other areas besides than i have some experience (and stories i can tell though Stefs experience) and the writing will be better. Let me know what you think.**


	19. Chapter 19

Mike

I can't believe that she would keep something like that from me. She got pregnant by me, I have a right to know about it. Why would she not tell me or Lena that she miscarried? For eleven years i didn't know that i had a kid that was never born. Also she started her and Lenas relationship of with lies, thats not like her. Why would she keep this stuff from us.

I mean sure we were going through a divorce but she should still have said that and Lena deserved to know that her girlfriend miscarried. Besides neither of us deserved to find out eleven years later from Stef with no memories where we couldn't get an explanation from her.

Stef

Lena has an appointment today to check and see how she is doing and if they are still worried about preeclampsia. This is going to be the most she has walked in like a month. I know she's worried about it, but hopefully everything is ok.

"You ready?" i asked looking over at her from across the kitchen. She was sitting on one of the stools, despite my continued objections that she should sit in a better seat, having just finished breakfast. She has her hair pulled up in a messy bun on the top of her head, a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants on (doctors orders that she should always wear loose fitting clothes) and she looks gorgeous.

"Yeah do I get to eat out after my appointment" she asked as i help her up. I smiled at her.

"Of course wherever you want" i said and she smiled evilly.

"I take that back" i said jokingly and she pouted.

"I was kidding" i said and we left the house after saying goodbye too the kids and her parents.

I took her hand knowing she's really nervous.

"It's going to be ok" i said and she nodded.

"I know i'm just worried about where we are going out to eat afterwards" she joked trying to ease her nerves.

"It's going to be fine, either way i'm here for you." i promised her and she nodded.

We were finally called back into the exam room after waiting in the waiting room for what seemed forever. No matter how much she acts like she calm the longer she waits the more anxious she gets.

"So how have you been feeling?" she asked Lena who smiled politely at her.

"Stir crazy?" she asked and me and Lena both said 'yeah' at the same time. She laughed.

"Any nausea, bad headaches, cramping?" she asked starting to do her check up.

"Well no cramping but I have had some nausea, and a few migraines but i normally have them occasionally." she said and her doctor nodded.

"When you do stand up and walk; do you get dizzy, lightheaded, or 'blacked out'" she asked and i can tell that Lena doesn't have the answer that she wants to say.

"Uh yeah i do occasionally" she admitted and i looked over at her. She's never told me that.

"Alright… i also just want to give you a friendly little reminder that communication is key. You need to let the person who is taking care of you know that" she gently scolded Lena. Obviously picking up on the fact that i didn't know that was still happening.

"Sorry" she said and gave me an apologetic smile.

"It's ok" i said.

"Alright well we are gonna do an ultrasound and then afterward we are going to do a few tests just to make sure everything is good" she said and Lena nodded.

Once she came back in with the machine and set it up I took her hand. She has pulled up her shirt so her six month baby belly is showing. It's hard to believe it's been 3 months since i have woken up in that hospital and realized this is my crazy life. It still seems like it was just yesterday, too surreal to dismiss it as reality. Part of me is still feeling like this a dream. I've gotten closer too the kids, but i don't really feel like there mom yet. I still don't feel like a mom yet, how could i ever be a good one.

'I'm not ready for that.' i thought as the image of her baby came on the screen. Sure people might not feel ready when they are expecting a kid but I'm expecting on and having too randomly become a mom too 5 teenagers i met three months ago. Talk about overwhelming.

Lena looked at me bringing me back from my thoughts.

"You alright?" she asked concerned. Her last ultrasound i drifted off and it created a whole lot of drama.

"Yeah Im fine" i said but i can tell she sees right through it. I can tell she's planning on asking me about it once we leave.

They did a few test on Lena and gave her her shot, which i held her hand for. After the appointment was pretty much done her doctor sat down in front of the computer and typed something in before turning back too Lena.

"Unfortunately i do believe it's best to keep you on bedrest for now. You are still showing signs that preeclampsia is a threat." she said and Lena sighed.

"I'm sorry but with you still blacking out we need take precautions" she said and Lena smiled at her.

"Of course whatever I can do to prevent it from happening" Lena said.

"Good hopefully it keeps going like it is. You're baby is in perfect health, so we just have too keep it that way" she said and Lena sighed of relief.

Lena

At least she's healthy, thats what i was really worried about. It sucks that i'm stuck on bedrest but oh well it's nice having Stefs attention. Which i didn't seem to have during the ultrasound which worries me. The last time she spaced out like that she remembered a baby me and Mike had no idea about. I really hope it's not like that. Maybe it just brought back memories of her pregnancy with Brandon. I really want to hear those stories, and i haven't heard many.

"So what happened back there?" i asked and she gave me a weird look.

"The ultrasound" i said too remind her and she shrugged it off.

"Nothing, just thinking" she said.  
"About?"

"I don't know the future" she said but there was something wrong about how she said it.

"What do you mean?" i asked hoping she will say what she's really thinking than just what i want to hear.

"Well you know after she's born… you know there's gonna be a baby" she said and i gave her look like 'Really, now?'

"Yeah I heard thats what happens" i joked but i want to know what she really means by that.  
"I know, it just there's going to be a baby and i'm gonna be the… mom" she said hesitating a bit before the word mom, and i got what was going on here. Of course she would be overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed and i didn't just wake up too have a wife, 5 kids and one on the way.

"How are you feeling about that?" i asked wanting to see what's particularly worrying her.

"I'm not ready to be a mom" she said and i'm glad the kids aren't here but i know she wouldn't have said that in front of them.

"Don't get me wrong i love those kids and i love that baby, but i just don't feel like there mom." she said and I nodded.

"It's ok it will come back to you" i said but i know she didn't really believe me.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Because you are doing a great job already, better than i would do just thrown into this…" i said and she gave me a 'yeah right' look.

"It comes naturally to you" she argued.

"It comes naturally to you to. You are great with our kids, and that has always come naturally to you. You're a great mom, a stupid car crash isn't going to take that away from you…. Besides I'm here to help you out, but i don't think you will need it" i said.

Mariana

I picked up hoping everything is ok since this is probably when they are getting out there appointment.

"Hello" i said but didn't hear a response.

"It's just there's going to be a baby and i'm going to be the … mom" i heard mom say and I can tell she butt dialed me. Is she talking about my future little sister? She didn't exactly say the word mom like she was very happy about it.

"How do you feel about that?" i heard mama ask.

"I'm not ready to be a mom." Mom said i hung up. I should have known it, she doesn't love us. She doesn't think of us as a family, just something she's responsible for. She's only taking care of mama because she feels like she should, not because she cares about either of them. All this 'we are still a family' crap is all lies.

**Sorry about that don't know what my computer did.**

**Poor Mariana. Let me know what you think. I'm thinking probably about 5 more chapters left in this story. Than hopefully I'm finishing my stories that i never finished. You can tell me which story you want me to do first, any story of mine without an ending is fair game and i will do which ever one the most seems too want. **


	20. Chapter 20

Lena

We got home and everyone was ready to hear what happened at the appointment. They all are hoping that i was told i'm off of bedrest and now i have too tell them otherwise.

"So, what happened?" my dad asked and i smiled at them.

"She's healthy" i said and they all look relieved and excited.

"So you're off bedrest then?" my mom asked and i shook my head.

"Unfortunately not, they want too keep me on bedrest just incase" i said and they all looked disappointed.

"But everything is ok, right?" Callie asked and i smiled at her.

"Of course, the baby is in good health" i said and she still looked concerned.

"What about you?" she asked and i shook my head.

"I'm fine. Being on bedrest is just a precaution." i said and she nodded. I looked over at the rest of the kids, and could immediately tell something was off about the twins.

"So hows was everyones day so far?" i asked looking at them encouraging them to talk. I'm going to have too talk to them and make sure everything is ok. I'm worried about them, they are acting almost like when we took them in. Jesus kept checking on her and just like i suspected he was the one to answer.

"It was good, not much has happened" he said.

"Miss thing?" i asked and she nodded.

"Ok well i guess we should probably get you back up in bed, mama" Stef said and i groaned.

"Yay"i said and everyone laughed. She lead me upstairs to my room and sat down on the bed with me.

"Where the twins ok?" she asked and i smiled at her. She's worried mothering doesn't come naturally to her yet her maternal instincts are still very strong.

"No but we will talk to them both in a little bit, figure out what's wrong" i said and she nodded. She hasn't really done much parenting in the sit them down and talk to them too see what's going on, or a discipline way. I know she's worried about having to do it, but hey it has to start sometime. It will be good for her, hopefully to make her realize it's not as bad and challenging as she thinks.

Also it will be good for the twins too see us working together with parenting. They need to see us working together, make them feel more like normal.

Stef

Talking too the twins? Why do i feel like this isn't going to be good. I'm not good at this type of stuff. I want to be but i'm not.

I went to there rooms and got them too talk to them after supper was done. We all went back into Lena's room and Lena told them too take a seat. I can tell they are annoyed with me or something.

"What's going on?" Jesus asked.

"Thats what we are trying to figure out. What's bothering you two?" Lena asked and they glanced between each other.

"Nothings wrong" he denied but Mariana remained silent.

"Really then why are you talking for your sister again?" she asked him. I remember when I first found them at the station Jesus did all the talking. Well this can't be good.

"I'm not" he denied.

"Mariana?" she asked and she nodded.

"I'm fine" she said and it's the first time i heard her voice since we left for her appointment this morning.

"Obviously something is wrong, so please just talk to us about it" she said and Jesus looked over at me.

"What is she doing here?" he asked a little mad. I was shocked, i mean sure they seemed annoyed with me but i didn't see this coming.

"Jesus!" Lena scolded.

"You butt dialed Mariana and she heard what 'mom'..." he said looking at me but making it obvious that he doesn't think that of me.

"...said. So you can stop it with this we are a family skit" he said and i tried to think of what he means.

'I'm not ready to be a mom?' yeah that might be it.

"Jesus, what are you talking about? We are not putting on an act, and don't talk too you're mom that way." she said and then turned around too Mariana.

"What did you hear over the phone?" she asked and she sighed.

"She said she's not ready to be a mom" Mariana said and Lena stopped. She doesn't seem to know what to say herself.

"Um… I didn't mean it like" i said and Lena looked over at me.

"Really then how did you mean that?" she asked skeptically.

"I'm not going to pretend that everything is like it was but it will eventually." i said and Lena smiled at me and nodded me too go on.

"I'm new to this. I woke up to five kids and a pregnant wife" i said and she laughed a little despite herself. Jesus continued to not look at me.

"And i wouldn't change it because this feels like a family…" i said and Mariana cut me off.

"But…" she said and i sighed.

"But I'm scared. I mean most people get the luxury of freaking out and getting to question their ability to be a good parent while they're pregnant or they're wife is pregnant and when they are newborns that don't know what's going on around them. I just woke up to five teenagers that i'm the mom of and i never got too have that freak out time.

I love you guys thats not going to change, ever, but i'm just scared." i said hoping i didn't make that worse somehow.

Lena smiled at me but i'm still worried that i'm not doing good enough. Of course Lena would buttdial Mariana when i would say something like that. I never meant to hurt her.

"How do you know that you will ever be ready?" she asked and i have no idea how to answer that. The truth is i don't know if i ever will, and i definitely can't say that.

Luckily Lena was there too back me up.

"She already is. She's being hard on herself, she does that." she said and they didn't say anything.  
"She was the one that pointed out that something was wrong with you and Jesus. Even though it was a lot to take in she still did whatever she could to get to know you guys. She did pretty good handling this talk" she said and Mariana nodded.

"All i can say is i'm trying my best." I offered lamely.

"I know it was just hearing you say that" she said and i felt awful.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, i was just overwhelmed" i said hugging her.

"You need to talk to us about stuff like this" Lena said and she nodded.

"Ok you can go, we need too talk too you're brother alone for a little bit" she said and Mariana looked at him too see if he was ok. He nodded for her to leave and she did.

"Jesus, we understand that you are upset but you can't talk too you're mom like that" Lena said and he didn't say anything.

"Jesus" she said and he finally started talking.

"She came to me crying, mom" he said and i felt terrible.

"That never should have happened but you don't talk like that." she said.

"It's not the same, mom. Why do you keep trying to act like everything is fine?" he yelled at her and i could see tears in her eyes.

"Thats enough" she said and he sat there quietly.

"It's not going to be the same right now, Jesus. Not until she gets her memory back, and i'm off bedrest. I know thats frustrating but it doesn't mean we are not a family, and it doesn't mean she's not your mom. I know that recently there's been a lot going on but it will get better" she said.

"You said that after she got shot" he said and she nodded.

"And she got better and life got back on the right track, sure it threw us another curve ball but we are gonna get through it again" she said and he nodded.

"Apologize too you're mom and go get ready for bed" she ordered him.

"I'm sorry, it shouldn't have said that" he said and i nodded.

"I shouldn't have said that either, i never meant it that way. I'm sorry" i said and he nodded and left.

Lena kissed me and i laughed.

"Welcome to parenthood." she said and i laughed.

"It wasn't that bad" she said and i gave her a look like 'Really that wasn't that bad'

"Are you kidding me that was terrifying" i said and she laughed.

"It gets easier" she said and I hope she's right.

**Let me know what you think. By the way i'm going to finish this story first and i think after this is finished (hopefully by the end of next weekend) i will start Parallel Universe again.**


	21. Chapter 21

Stef

I sat down next too little one year old Sammy as she was playing with her winnie the pooh playset.

"Is it Winnie the Poohs birthday?" i asked in my i'm talking too a baby voice.

"Yeah" she said.

"Thats exciting" i said and she handed me her stuff animal from home.

"You want me to hold bunny?" i asked and she nodded.

New born Owen started crying and i looked over at my co-worker who is still, god love her, keeping the eight year olds from killing each other. She sighed at the sound and i got up letting her know i got it and she sighed of relief.

"Here hold bunny for a minute" i said too Sammy and gave her her bunny back. I walked over and picked Owen up he was just being fussy.

"Hey there honey" i said and gently rocked him. Every time i look at him i seem to get another memory of Brandon as a baby.

I picked Brandon up knowing he's being fussy because of his cold. I walked over and sat down with him, exhausted from my own cold and being up with him all night last night.

I woke up an hour later too Mike tapping on my shoulder.

"The lullaby is meant to put the baby to sleep" he teasingly whispered. B was still asleep which i'm thankful for.

"How long have i been out?" i whispered back and he shrugged.

"I don't know i just got home" he said taking him out of my arms and putting him back in his crib.

"Come on there's a bed in the other room" he joked and i rolled my eyes.

The young brunette that i work with brought me back from my thought.

"You do know he's asleep right?" she said and and i smiled sheepishly.

"Of course sorry zoned out there" i said and she laughed.

"Another memory?" she asked. I told her a few days ago that the reason i'm working here is because i lost my memory and can't work as a cop. She was confused by the fact that I was older and she was going to train me. I was shocked too she's only eighteen years old but has supposedly worked here for three years, which was longer than the majority of the workers.

"Yeah just another one of when my son was about Owens age." I said.

"You got a lot of your memories back?" she asked.

"Yeah most of them, should be all back soon" i said and she smiled.

"Thats good."

"Stefy" Sammy said and i put down a sleeping Owen and walking over to her.

"Uppy" she said and i picked her up putting her on my hip. I knew i needed to get a job so we can pay for food and to help Lena, and also as a way of getting my memories back. I never thought that i would love my job so much. I love being around these kids and Lena is right it does come naturally to me.

It has improved how i have been with my kids, brought me and Lena closer together and on top of all else i have became closer to the old me.

Three months later

I woke up too Lena waking up, which i'm used too because i'm still taking care of her since she's still on bedrest. She's gotten up a lot at nights now that she's even more uncomfortable constantly.

"You alright?" i asked leaning against the wall looking over at her.

"No, my body hurts" she said rubbing her stomach.

"Do you want a massage?" i asked getting her hair away from her shoulders and starting to rub them. I continued to massage her shoulders until she seemed to feel better enough to fall asleep so I gently spooned her.

"Thank you I have been so uncomfortable lately" she said and i kissed her.

"Well there's kind of another person in there" i said kissing the side of her baby belly causing her to laugh. She has been very irritable lately and i don't blame her she's a few days over her due date. I'm hoping Frankie doesn't wait too long for everyones sake.

**Present**

**That was the last thing i thought before going back to sleep and waking up too a panicked wife only an hour later. Now you are almost caught up.**

I woke up quickly still unsure what was going on. Than it hit me, Lenas in labour. I gave her my hand for her to squeeze and i practically lost circulation. I can't believe this, my baby is about to be born. I helped her up and grabbed her overnight bag and went knocking on the kids doors.

"What's going on?" Mariana asked and Callie stood behind her confused. The rest of the kids came out with the same expression of confusion on there face but the look quickly vanished at the sight of there mom.

"I'm taking mama too the hospital Brandon drive the kids out in the morning" i ordered trying to sound calm but in reality i'm freaking out.

Flashback

I looked around and tried to find my phone but couldn't because i was freaking out too much. Of course i would be alone when i go into labour. Of course Mike would be at work. I finally grabbed my phone and called him and with my luck he didn't answer.

"Damn it Mike pick up the phone" i yelled. I got myself too the hospital and than Mike called me back.

"Hey everything alright?" he asked.

"No asshole, I went into labour where the hell where you?" i said and he sounded shocked.

"I will be right there" he said.

"Yes you will, where are you?" i asked.  
"Just got back from work, i'm on my way" he said.

"Just got back?" i asked it's been two hours since i got to the hospital and he was suppose to be of work an hour ago.

"It was a bad case, you know…. you're right it's my fault i'm a few minutes away" he said sensing that defending his case wasn't doing himself any good.

Stef

I got her to the hospital and called her parents and my mom too let them know she went into labor. They of course where excited and said they where going to book a flight out. Lenas parents left two months ago since they can't take too much time off work. My mom headed back around the same time.

"You ok?" i asked holding her hand. She shook her head no, i still can't believe this is happening.

Present

This is where everything hit me all at once. When my memory came back, and please forgive me so much came at once it's hard to write but i assure you it all came back within the next few hours.

Flashbacks

Brandon sat upset in the corner as i walked in. Lena looked upset herself as the twins who we recently adopted played with the toys on the ground.

"Everything ok?" i asked.

"Lena was being mean" B said getting up from his time out and storming off.

"I hate you" he screamed too Lena who, still new to parenting and sensitive, god love her, took it too heart.

The memory faded into another one where me and Lena where going to be served breakfast in bed for mother's day but instead we woke up too an eight year old and two seven years old screaming that the house is on fire. Sure enough the did almost burn the house down but luckily didn't do any serious damage.

The next memory was of me and Lena getting married, and it faded into a memory of kid me having hot chocolate with a cousin when visiting them in Pennsylvania during the winter.

My mom sat me down and i can tell this is a serious talk, she looks sad.

"Honey you know how we have talked about what happened to Jamie?" she said and i nodded.

"Yeah is she ok?" i asked worried she had tears in her eyes.

"Baby the cops found her but it was a little late" she said and I can tell this is really bad.

"Is she ok?" i asked as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Do you remember how we talked about how Grammy is now living with God?" she asked and i started crying. My older cousin, Jamie's sister, told me that that means they died and they aren't coming back.

"No, no that can't be" i said crying and my mom hugged me.

**I'm so sorry about that crazy long wait my english apparently doesn't want me having free time to write for you. I'm also sorry that this chapter isn't very good, it was over a long span of time and the last part was hard to write. I did try hard on it this is the best i can do. Will continue into the next chapter a bit that should (hopefully) be up soon and Stef will have all her memory back by the time Frankie is born.**


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